Always Been You
by Ouaysis
Summary: Just one more version of how that little line in the sand got erased, thanks to a few near-death experiences. Jamie and Eddie have been toeing the line between professional partners and lovers for years. My version of how that changed once and for all. Features events from 8x19, 8x21, 8x22, and beyond!
1. Author's Note

**Thanks for your interest in my Jamko story! There are probably more versions of this than we can all shake a stick at, but I needed to write this to recover after that amazing season 8 finale! lol. Anyway, I just needed to clear up a few things before you continue in order to make this story make sense.**

 **I think we all know how AWFUL the writers are at continuity on Blue Bloods... That being said, I have a few things I just want to clarify, how I see things and what I think makes sense to me personally. For all intents and purposes, in my version of the BB universe, here's what you need to know:**

 **1) Jamie was a lawyer for approximately 4 years before becoming a cop.**

 **This is based on a picture (don't remember which episode, but I KNOW it exists!) of both Frank and Mary with Jamie at his Harvard graduation (he was wearing a Master's hood in the photo, so it couldn't have been from undergrad). It's pretty well established that Mary died in September of 2005, ergo Jamie would have graduated Harvard in '05. And if he didn't become a cop until AFTER Joe's death in '09 than it only makes sense that he had an established career in law before this. (Edit: I am aware that in 6x09 Jamie shows a perp his Harvard Alumni card and it says 'class of '07'. However, it would break my heart if Mary didn't get to see her baby boy graduate at the very least, so I'm sticking to my guns on this one, even if it's not 100% accurate. :) Thanks to a reviewer who pointed this out!)  
**

 **2) Eddie was shot about a week to a week and a half before chapter 1. In my version of things, approximately three weeks passes between Eddie getting shot and Sorrento and the proposal happening.**

 **3) This isn't so much to do with the show, but with another one of my works. I have a one-shot, "Boy Scout" that in my head goes hand-in-hand with this story. However, the tone is much different because I want this story to be Jamko-centric and that was more of a Jamie-angst piece. The one-shot takes place between chapters 1 and 2 in this story! You don't have to read it, but if you love Jamie as much as I do, please do! :)**

 **I think that's it! Please enjoy while I die from Jamko feels. Dx**

 **Edit: Apparently I don't know how to make author's notes because I checked this and it was all funky on my end? Not sure if it looked weird for anyone else, but if it did I'm sorry!**

 ** ** **Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own any part of Blue Bloods or these characters. I'm only borrowing them to satisfy my suffering fangirl heart.******


	2. One: In Your Blood

Jamie sighed and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. It had been years since he'd studied his law books. What had he been thinking? In his mind, he remembered the hearing on Thursday afternoon, the voice of Eddie's lawyer playing in his mind.

 _"When someone gets thrown under the bus here, d'you think it'll be Prince Charming or Princess Nobody?"_

The words echoed through his memory. Even before the jab, he'd been wary of their counsel. He knew any PBA-appointed attorney would be over-worked and over-loaded with cases. And he felt too strongly about this situation to let someone half-ass a hearing because they didn't have anything left to give. After Eddie's lawyer made it clear that he was unwilling to cooperate with their decision on a unified defense, and his own expressed her doubts that they'd even win, Jamie had known he couldn't let them continue. What kind of defense lawyer didn't even _pretend_ to believe in their clients? Jamie chewed on the corner of his lip, thinking back to that moment.

 _"The facts show we did nothing wrong!" He insisted vehemently, on the verge of frustration as he looked from Eddie to his counselor. The middle-aged woman beside him was talking, but he was only half listening. Suddenly, an idea sparked. Jamie hesitated just a moment before leaning over to Eddie._

 _"This is ridiculous," he whispered, "They don't even care. I could do better than this in my sleep."_

 _Pulling away, he met Eddie's skeptical gaze. She was frustrated, he could tell, but enough to go along with his plan?_ Do you trust me? _He asked with a look. For a moment she didn't respond, her blue eyes searching his face. But then she nodded. He nodded back before standing up to request the dismissal of their counsel._

A knock on his door jolted Jamie out of his thoughts. Clearing his throat, he stood up to answer it.

"Hey, partner!" Eddie greeted him cheerfully, a six-pack of beer balanced precariously atop the box of pizza in her hands. "I thought you might need a break."

He let out a small laugh and nodded, stepping back to let her inside his apartment. Jamie snagged the beers off the top of the pizza box as she passed, closing the front door. He followed her to his kitchen and put the beers down on his counter. Taking out a couple, he popped the tops and then handed her one.

"Thanks," he smiled.

"It's the least I can do, considering you're going to save our asses in court on Monday."

He gave her a tight-lipped smile and took a long drink of beer. It was nice to hear her confidence in him, but he wasn't entirely sure it was warranted. What if he'd bitten off more than he could chew? Eddie handed him a slice and raised her beer.

"To victory!"

"To victory," he laughed, clinking the glass of his bottle against hers. Jamie shook his head and leaned against his counter. What if he failed? _No_ , he pushed the self-doubt away, _you know what to do. You have a good case, don't doubt yourself now._

"How are you feeling?" He asked, jerking his chin toward her to indicate her ribs.

"When is everyone going to stop asking that? I'm _fine_. I swear."

"You bruised your ribs falling down those stairs, don't—"

"I'm in pain, okay? But I'm handling it. Please stop asking."

"Okay," he conceded, shaking his head in exasperation.

They enjoyed their meal in silence for a while. Eddie was already on her third slice when Jamie spoke up.

"Hey, Eddie…thanks for trusting me."

Across from him she shrugged, taking a long pull on her beer. "You're my partner. I've got your back. And I know you've got mine."

Jamie finished off a third slice of pizza and opened another beer for both of them. Sighing, he crossed over to his couch and sat back down.

"I should get back to this. You staying?"

Eddie shrugged, walking over to the couch with yet another slice in her hand, and thumped down beside him.

"How does it feel, Harvard? Putting that big-name law degree to good use?"

Jamie just rolled his eyes. He reached for one of the books that lay open around him.

"If you're staying than move your ass," he instructed, nudging her side with one hand as he tugged at the book. Eddie shifted, allowing him to slide it out from under her.

"Jamie, why is this so important to you?"

He paused at the question, pen poised above the legal pad on his lap. Sighing, he shook his head and looked up at her. Why _did_ he care about this? _Because it wasn't our fault_ , he thought stubbornly.

"Growing up, I was always told to stand up for myself, for what I believe in. We did _nothing_ wrong, Eddie. It was a horrible situation and its normal to feel guilty about it. But I'll be damned if I'm just going to roll over and let the boss use us as a political scapegoat so that she doesn't have to deal with the fallout. I respect myself and this job too much."

"Okay," she nodded thoughtfully, crossing one leg over the other as she propped her feet against his coffee table. "I can respect that. Do you think this is a Reagan thing?"

He scowled. "Reagan thing?"

"Yeah, you know…. Everyone puts you under a microscope, just because your dad's the PC. Do you think if—let's say this happened to Walsh and Reynolds and not us—do you think the boss would still have came down as hard? Do you think people would care as much? Or is this only a big deal because of who did it?"

Sighing, he dropped his pen and took a long drink of beer. She had a point, but he hadn't considered it before.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "But does it really matter? You should know by now that's just the way it is. And whether or not my last name factors into this we still did what we thought was right, what we're trained to do. We shouldn't be punished for doing our jobs."

"True." Eddie nodded absently, pressing her lips together thoughtfully. She readjusted on the couch and tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling.

He had finally settled back into a rhythm, riffling through book after book as his pen scratched against the legal notepad, when Eddie scoffed and dropped her feet to the carpet.

"I can't believe he called me Princess Nobody."

"Hmmm?" He wondered absently, reluctantly dragging his eyes away from the patrol guidebook up to hers.

Eddie rolled her eyes. "Princess Nobody? _Really?_ So maybe my father's a crook. That doesn't make me _nobody_."

He scowled, unsure of what thoughts had prompted this. Eddie shook her head and tucked her legs underneath her with a huff.

"You're not nobody, you're Eddie."

"Not according to Mr. Lawyer!"

Jamie laughed and reached over to pat the top of her knee. "If you want, you can be my Cinderella."

"What? No! Ugh. _Prince Charming_ ," she muttered darkly. "Such bullshit."

"Does this really matter? He was being melodramatic to make a point—a point, which, by the way is invalid. You're my partner. We're a team. And we sink or swim together. My father's job is irrelevant."

"I know, I know." Eddie let out a sigh and then gave him a reassuring smile. "You're right, I'm sorry. Just stressed. I feel useless, Jamie. You're doing all the work here!"

"Last I checked, _I_ am the one with a law degree."

"Oh, whatever!"

She grabbed one of the small throw pillows and tossed it at him. It bounced off his shoulder, flying over the back of the couch. Jamie shook his head in amusement.

"You brought dinner, remember? That's something."

"Doesn't count."

"Fine," he sat back against the couch, looking over at her. "Will it help if we go over the game plan? I'll tell you what I have so far, you tell me if you agree. Deal?"

"Deal."

...

"What happened to trusting me?" Jamie asked, looking over as Eddie fidgeted on the bench beside him.

"I do trust you," she promised. "One hundred percent. It's just…well, what if it doesn't work?"

"Then at least we tried."

She gave a curt nod and a short breath. "Right."

"It'll be fine," he promised.

A door opened to their left and their names were called. Jamie stood up, overcome with the overwhelming urge to grab her hand. He clenched his jaw, fighting it. They were here as partners. He had to stay professional. Settling for a reassuring smile, Jamie led the way into the courtroom with his partner only a step behind.

Jamie sucked in a deep, calming breath as they both sat down. How many times had he stood before a judge and pled his case in clinicals? How many cases had he successfully argued during his short-lived career in law? The nerves from the previous days disappeared, replaced with a calm confidence. He knew their case inside and out. All that was left to do was present the facts and trust that the judge would be fair and impartial.

After he made their case, Jamie sat back down and looked at Eddie. She gave him a small, approving smile. Uncertainty still shone in the depths of her eyes, but he knew it had nothing to with him and everything to do with fear. The moments ticked by agonizingly slow. Jamie resisted the urge to fidget in his seat. He readjusted his tie to keep his hands busy.

"Officers Reagan and Janko," Judge Alexander finally spoke, looking up from his notes. Jamie dared to meet the man's eyes for just a moment. "Despite my qualms about your dismissal of counsel, I have to admit that you presented a solid case. Well done, Officer Reagan."

Jamie nodded, giving the briefest of smiles as he let out a breath of relief. "Thank you, You Honor."

"I've considered your argument and have come to a decision." The judge paused, and he felt his breath hitch. He could feel Eddie doing the same beside him. "I am overruling this suspension. You both are cleared to return to work bright and early tomorrow."

Relief spread through him and Jamie let out a shaky breath. He couldn't help but glance at Eddie, whose face was covered with a smile. She nodded excitedly.

"Good job!" She whispered.

They gathered their things, smiling, and were about to exit the courtroom when a voice called out.

"Officer Reagan."

Jamie paused, turning around to face the judge once more. He was relieved to see the older man's smile. Eddie stopped beside him, waiting.

"Yes, Your Honor?"

"Your sister should be proud. Did she teach you all that?" He gestured lazily with one hand toward the defense table.

Chuckling, Jamie shook his head. "No, Your Honor."

"Then…?"

"He went to Harvard, Your Honor," Eddie said, beaming proudly at him. "Even has the piece of paper to prove it."

The man looked impressed. "A law degree from Harvard? And you're a cop?"

Jamie gave a small shrug. "I decided I wanted to help people before they got jammed up. Or…at least try to."

Judge Alexander nodded appreciatively. "I can respect that. Good luck, both of you."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

He and Eddie found their way to the lobby, where she let out a relieved sigh. Eddie nudged her shoulder against him as she grinned.

"You were amazing!"

"Thanks," Jamie laughed, loosening his tie. "I'm just glad I remembered everything. It's been almost nine years since I considered myself a lawyer."

"Do you ever miss it?" Eddie asked as they exited the building. "You were a natural in there, Jamie. It was impressive."

"Sometimes, yeah."

He squinted into the sun as they descended the stone steps together. "I got into law because I liked it. And sure, I always looked up to Erin. But it was really my mother that influenced it. She never wanted me to be a cop."

"But you did anyway?" She scowled, looking up at him as they reached his car and leaned against it.

"I struggled with it for a while," he admitted. "As a kid all I ever imagined was growing up to be just like my father, my grandfather. Hell, I even looked up to Danny!"

Eddie made a face and they both laughed. "But I knew Mom didn't want that. She was terrified of me getting hurt. I thank God every day that she wasn't here when Joe died. That would have destroyed her."

"Do you think if she was still here she'd be okay with it? With you becoming a cop?"

Jamie chewed on his bottom lip, thinking. Would she? Before joining the academy, he had thought long and hard about that. He had convinced himself that it was okay. That it didn't matter because Mom was gone and she wouldn't have to see him get hurt regardless. But he wasn't entirely sure. He'd like to think that if she hadn't died, if she were still with them and he still decided to join the academy, she would have come around eventually. He had always been able to talk her into anything as a boy. He liked to believe that she would have trusted his judgement after she got over her fear.

"Probably not. But I think, after a while, she would have respected my decision, even if she didn't like it."

"Well. I obviously didn't know her, but I bet she would have been proud of you in there, Jamie."

Sadness hit him like a tidal wave. She would have been proud, wouldn't she? He smiled sadly and nodded.

"Thank you."

"Anyway," Eddie cleared her throat. "We should go out for celebratory drinks! You got plans tonight?"

"All right," he laughed. "Text me the details?"

Eddie pushed away from his car with a nod. "You got it, partner! See you later."

And with that she disappeared, waving goodbye before getting into her car. Jamie smiled softly as he got into his own car and started the engine.

...

Jamie was just about to head out the door when his phone rang. Assuming it was Eddie, he didn't check the screen before answering.

"I'm literally about to walk out my door, Janko, I am not late."

A familiar chuckle crackled through the phone. Jamie paused. That wasn't Eddie…

"Plans with Eddie?" His sister's voice rang out from the other end, amused.

"Oh. Hey, Erin. Sorry," he laughed, pulling on his jacket and grabbing his keys. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm just calling to congratulate you on your successful hearing."

"Thanks," he mused. "It was a different experience for sure. It makes me wonder…"

"What life would be like if you decided to stay a lawyer?"

"Yeah."

He closed his door and locked it, pocketing his keys and heading for the elevator.

"Is that regret I'm hearing?"

"No," he laughed. Jamie punched the lobby button and leaned back against the side of the elevator. "I'm happy where I'm at. I think it's more…nostalgia. I was happy being a lawyer, too. But I think even if I had stuck it out longer I would have ended up on the beat."

"I have no doubt about that. It's in your blood." She scoffed, "always will be."

He couldn't deny that. Maybe that was why his mother pushed him so hard to go to law school. She was trying to delay the inevitable, for as long as possible.

"Well I won't keep you, obviously you have plans. Just wanted to say I'm proud of you, Jamie. Not only for remembering your courtroom etiquette after nine years, but for standing up for yourself. For Eddie."

"Thanks, sis."

"Anyway," she laughed, clearing throat. "I'll let you go. See you Sunday."

"Okay. See you then, Erin."

They both said goodbye and he checked a missed text message for the bar he was supposed to meet Eddie at. A small crowd had gathered by the time he arrived. He immediately found Eddie close to the bar surrounded by a few fellow officer friends. A few of Eddie's other friends were there too. He had almost reached the group when she turned to see him.

"Reagan!" She exclaimed, pushing through a few friends to rush forward and throw her arms around him. "'Bout time!"

"Hey," he laughed, returning her enthusiastic hug. "What I miss?"

She dragged him back to the group by the arm, completely ignoring his question as she grinned at the others. Walsh slapped his back and muttered congratulations as he passed.

"I just won at darts!" Eddie beamed at him. "Care to challenge me?"

"Uh—"

Before he could respond, a familiar—but less than welcome—figure appeared carrying to pint of beer in each hand. Barry. His stomach clenched and he had the sudden urge to punch something. What was he doing here?

"Here you go, babe," Barry said, handing Eddie one of the drinks and kissing her cheek. Did Jamie imagine the fleeting glance Barry threw in his direction?

"Oh. Thanks! Jamie's here. And about to get his ass kicked at darts."

He did his best to give her a cocky smile, to act like he wasn't pissed that he had to share their victory with Barry. _He's her boyfriend now_ , he reminded himself. Jamie gathered a handful of green darts and turned to Eddie.

"Excuse me, but I'm the reigning champion. I think _you're_ the one whose ass is about to be kicked."

Jamie took in a deep breath and tried not to feel the aching of his chest. _You had your chance_ , he reminded himself. Eddie had come to him, told him flat out that she had feelings for him. And he'd confessed that he felt the same. But then he'd been an idiot and insisted that they should stay partners. Platonic, professional partners. _This is your own fault,_ he thought, jaw clenched as he threw the first dart. _Dumbass._ As long as Eddie was happy, that was all that mattered. He finished his turn and nursed a beer while he watched Eddie throw her darts.

Barry hovered at her side, taking every opportunity and excuse he could find to touch her. What would Jamie give to be able to do that? To give in, to stop fighting, to break the rules for once in his life. He wanted to break the rules for her. Except now it was too late. Barry was back and he wouldn't be the guy to get in the way of that just because he was miserable. He couldn't do that to her. Enough men had treated her like crap in her life. Jamie refused to be one of them. Even if it meant he was only hurting himself.

"Dammit!" Eddie's last dart narrowly missed the bullseye, the one spot she needed to match if she was to beat him.

He managed to put on a triumphant smile just as she turned, huffing. Jamie shrugged lazily and drank his beer calmly.

"Better luck next time, Janko."

She sighed, but she was still smiling despite the disappointment. Barry leaned forward and whispered something into her ear. She laughed brightly, the sound making his heart ache even more. Jamie swallowed against the lump in his throat. He glanced down at the dregs of his beer before tipping the glass back and draining it.

Bitterly he thought about the information he had discovered throughout his research for their case. There was no official rule about partners being in a relationship. When he realized what he'd stumbled upon he had quickly gone over every book regarding NYPD policy and patrol codes he could find. There was nothing. Sure, it was a logical rule for obvious reasons. But if it wasn't an official rule than he had a chance—to convince his father, his grandfather. Chances were, they would never agree to him and Eddie staying patrol partners if they ever progressed their relationship past professional. But if they didn't have an official basis for their argument than at least Jamie had a bit more leeway to try.

It was only his luck that now he'd discovered a light at the end of the tunnel she was too far to reach.


	3. Two: What Ifs and Maybes

Eddie ended the call with Barry and took in a shaky breath. Thoughts of Alice holding that little baby over the edge of the wall, dangerously close to dropping her, haunted Eddie's brain. She couldn't stop thinking about it. It was all too much. Between their suspension and that little boy almost dying last week, and the trial on Monday, and now this. Not to mention her being shot. It had been one hell of an emotional month, so far.

"Hey, what're you still doing here?"

She turned to look at Jamie, who she'd been waiting for but pretending like she hadn't.

"I work here," she quipped.

"Yeah. I meant, uh…I thought you had a thing with Barry?"

Things had been a little weird between her and Jamie lately and she didn't know why. Was he jealous? She knew that it was crazy, but a part of her wanted him to be. There were moments where she felt so strongly that Jamie wanted more, just like she did. But then he always pulled back again, always the boy scout, never willing to break the rules. The back-and-forth was exhausting. But she didn't want to give up, because she couldn't handle not having Jamie in her life at all. The thought terrified her.

"He cancelled," she lied, slipping her cell phone in to her purse.

"What, an hour before?"

"Something came up," she laughed breathlessly, lying again. Did he know she wasn't being honest? Did he care?

"Sorry to hear it."

He didn't sound that sorry. She knew Jamie. Knew he was lying. Eddie glanced at him to see him press his bottom lip between his teeth. What was happening to them?

"You got plans?"

Jamie looked at her, their eyes meeting for only a second. His eyes flashed with sometime dangerously like hurt. He turned away again and she swallowed hard against the fear. Had she pushed him too far? Had he given up?

"Uh, yeah…to not be second fiddle." He tried to hide the pain in his voice, but he couldn't fool her.

"Hey." She stopped, doing her best to smile. Jamie paused too, mere feet in front of her, and turned his whole body to face her. She caught the smallest hint of a derisive laugh escape his lips.

"You're not," Eddie promised, shaking her head and letting out her own small laugh in attempt to keep the tone light. She prayed that he knew how much she meant that. And she didn't pray too often.

He let out a small huff, jerking his head to the side a bit. Jamie stared at her a moment, his green eyes filled with an emotion she couldn't quite read. Why had he put up so many walls? Every time she thought they might be getting somewhere, Jamie pulled away again. _Why won't you just admit it?_ She wondered, frustrated, her heart aching.

"Seriously, I think it's…" he shook his head as she scowled. Jamie continued, "it's not good for me, or you and Barry…"

Eddie glanced down a moment and his shoulders were dropping from a shrug when she raised her eyes again. Was it something she'd done? Or was it just that he was just so damn set on following the rules he couldn't break them, even for her? _Screw me and Barry,_ she wanted to tell him. To shout at him. But did it even matter? Eddie swallowed hard, scowling a moment before meeting his gaze.

"All right. I lied." She sucked in a deep breath as a frown twitched over Jamie's features. "Barry didn't cancel, I did."

He gave her a curious look, eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"Because," she lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "This week's been kind of emotional. He wouldn't get it."

Pausing, she gave him a tight-lipped smile. The knot in her throat was getting harder to push away. "You would. We went through it together."

She could see the way his chest was moving, as though he was holding back some emotion. If he wanted her, why didn't he just admit it? _Dammit, Jamie, I just want you! Why can't that be enough?_ Eddie glanced away to push back the tears.

"Geez," she whispered, more to herself than to Jamie as she pushed away the tears. _Pull it together!_

Jamie held her gaze for a long moment before glancing away. "If we do go," he said, returning his gaze to her, "we gotta talk about it the whole time?"

" _No_."

He looked around, thinking it over. The seconds passed by agonizingly slow.

"Okay," he finally said. "What do you feel like?"

She felt as though she could breath again. Reaching down, she plucked her necklace from where it rested on her chest and held it between two fingers. "Whatever _you_ feel like."

"As long as it's Thai or Vietnamese," she added, twisting the circular charm around one finger as he held the door for her.

Eddie could feel him trying not to roll his eyes behind her. Outside the precinct they made a decision on where to go and climbed into their separate cars. She let out a shaky breath as she started her engine and buckled up. All she wanted was to crawl into his arms and never leave. Did Jamie still want that? She thought he did, but he always kept himself so frustratingly in check. How did one person have that much restraint? She generally admired it, except for when it came to whatever the hell this was between them.

"Thank you for coming out," she said quietly once they were at their seats. Her fingers played with the crumpled paper wrapper of her straw.

"Of course," Jamie said softly.

Looking up, Eddie found his eyes searching her face. Did she imagine the wistfulness, burning in their depths? The last time she felt these many emotions running around inside was the night she found out about her father. All the terrible things he had done. The people he'd hurt. She pressed her lips together, struggling to find the words to say.

"I can't stop thinking about baby Marisa," she couldn't think of anything else to talk about. "About Alice."

"You saved them, Eddie. Both of them. Alice is going to get the help that she needs, Marisa is going home with her parents."

"I know," she breathed out shakily. "But...I can't help it. I keep seeing it, picturing what would have happened if—if I hadn't… "

"Don't," he shook his head. "Our job is hard enough as it is. There's no use in torturing ourselves over the what ifs and maybes. You did your job today. You did great."

She nodded, pressing her lips together hard and swallowing back the emotion. Was it really the baby incident that was bothering her or the fact that Jamie had been coming up with excuses to avoid going out after tour all week? She craved his undivided attention, the way they used to be before… Before what? When had this whole mess started? _After the shooting. After Barry,_ she thought. Their food arrived, and both she and Jamie used it as an excuse to avoid more talking. Was she imagining the slightly awkward tint to the air? The meal was probably one of the most quiet they had ever enjoyed together.

Eddie's mind wandered back to a few months ago, to a similar restaurant, in Chinatown, after they'd pulled a suspension for helping Billy. That had been one of the times she was certain of Jamie's feelings toward her. Sure, mostly he had been joking with that 'between the sheets' line, but she could also tell that a part of him had been serious. He had been flirting with her, there was nothing else to it. But that was all it had been. Flirting. Jamie had pulled back again after that, retreating behind his walls.

The conversation turned to sports and then work, about the other incidents they'd had to deal with on tours this week. At least they were talking at all. She resisted the urge to sigh. How could she fix this? Was there even a way? After their meal, Eddie found herself walking slowly beside Jamie as they made their way down the street. The weird funk that was between them bothered her, but she didn't know how to get past it. Jamie's hands were tucked in his front pockets as he walked.

For a long time, the question nagged at her and she debated whether or not to ask it. They'd taken the subway together to her favorite Thai place, so their cars were still at the precinct. Eddie's stomach churned as she thought about ramming against the walls he'd put up. Could she make any headway, or would it be an exercise in futility? She looked over at Jamie as they descended the stairs to the subway. His jaw was set and she could tell he was lost in thought. Was he thinking about her? About them?

They were nearly back at the precinct by the time she plucked up the courage.

"Jamie, what were you really going to say that night? Before Barry came in?"

He turned his head to look at her, a sigh slowly leaking from his nose. Eddie knew that he didn't need an explanation. She knew he understood what she was asking. Jamie pressed his lips together and dropped his gaze to the ground. They turned the corner, Jamie's Mustang parked on the street a few feet away.

"Eddie…" he shook his head, finally raising his gaze back to hers. "I don't know that it even matters anymore."

"It matters to me."

She refused to look away. A scowl twitched over Jamie's face. They paused beside his car, both leaning against it gently.

"When I saw you laying there, in that hallway, I thought—" Jamie paused, sucking in a deep breath. He turned to stare out at the buildings across the street. "I've lost a lot of people in my life. My mom. My brother. Linda. My last partner bled out in my arms, Eddie, and I—I couldn't stop thinking about…about what I'd do if I lost you, too."

"And what would that be?" Her breath hitched, lodging somewhere in her throat.

Jamie swallowed hard, his voice barely above a whisper as he said, "I'd lose my damn mind."

She stared at him, eyes wide. She'd lose her mind, too, if she lost Jamie. But it already felt like she was, in a way. He was so closed-off lately. How was she supposed to reach him? Eddie swallowed hard and dropped her gaze to the pavement. She didn't know how to respond to that.

"What are you saying, Jamie?"

His expression was pained, his mouth twisted as though he'd smelled something rotten in the air. _Just say it,_ she begged, _say it and I'm yours_. Jamie's lips parted. He hesitated and Eddie's pulse racing through her ears as she wondered if he would finally say the words she knew, deep down, he wanted to say.

"Look, I—" He paused, grimacing and sucking in a deep breath. Whatever he needed to say was apparently painful. "It's late. We're both exhausted. We have an early tour tomorrow. Can we talk about this another time?"

Eddie swallowed back her disappointment. _Another time_. Right. She was starting to think there would never be a time where Jamie Reagan actually spoke the words she wanted to hear the most. Despite how much she _knew_ he wanted it. He really was a boy scout. _Dammit_.

"Sure," she said flatly, pushing away from the car and digging for her keys to avoid Jamie's eyes.

"Eddie—"

"Whatever," she snapped, her fingers closing around the assortment of metal and plastic, the various keys jangling as she pulled them free. "See you tomorrow."

She could hear Jamie's sigh as she spun on her heel and walked away. A moment later the sound of his car door slamming reached her ears. She dared to sneak a glance behind her shoulder. Jamie was sat in his car, engine off, hands gripped on the wheel. Eddie scowled as she unlocked her car and got in with an unnecessary amount of force.

As she drove home, she couldn't help but think about what Jamie had said, especially about losing people. She'd never really thought about it before. How much loss he'd faced. And she'd heard early on in their partnership about the death of his last partner, but he'd never confessed before that Officer Vincent Cruz had died in his arms. A shudder ran through her involuntarily. She couldn't even imagine. No wonder Jamie never talked about that day. And then Linda's unexpected death, almost one year ago.

Eddie's own mother had died when she was thirteen. It was something she and Jamie had in common, but something neither of them ever really spoke of. The most significant loss in Eddie's life had been the bombshell when she found out her father wasn't the stand-up guy she'd always thought he was. That day had turned her life upside-down and inside-out. But her father was still alive. And as much anger as she still sometimes felt about his actions, she knew that she would still be devastated if he hadn't made it out of the hospital two years ago.

What would it be like to have so many people leave her life forever? Was that what was keeping them apart? Jamie's fear that if they pursued a romantic relationship, she would get hurt on the job? A sigh ripped through her chest as Eddie pulled into a parking spot on her block. As frustrated as she was, as much as she longed for Jamie to just grow a pair and admit to her how he felt, she thought she understood where he was coming from. A least a little.

Maybe, if she could just get him to open up a little, they could work it out. But that required getting him to talk and she knew as well as anyone that when Jamie Reagan didn't want to talk not even Hell freezing over would make it happen. No, this would require a significant amount of finesse and charm. Eddie's lips twitched up half-heartedly as she unlocked her apartment and stepped inside. Thankfully for her, those were two things she had an abundance of, thanks to her lavish upbringing in Manhattan's Upper East Side. If it was the last thing she did, Eddie was going to make Jamie talk.


	4. Three: Guardian Angel

**Sooo, I wasn't planning on posting all of these tonight. But I have five chapters finished and I know exactly what it feels like to need to know what's gonna happen next! Plus I'm in the middle of packing my house to move a week before my last semester of college starts... and naturally I'm looking for any excuse to procrastinate! So here's the next one, hope you like it! I'm attempting to at least maintain a semblance of productivity, so I'm only posting one at a time, but I should have all 5 up by midnight my time! (Mountain Standard, if you're in the U.S.!)**

 **p.s. I think Frank Reagan is one of the hardest characters I've ever had to recreate... I hope I did him justice! Enjoy. :)**

* * *

Looking down at his hands hanging between his knees, Jamie sucked in a deep breath. The rush of adrenaline he'd felt after nearly being shot in the face had drained from his body, leaving him feeling weak and light-headed. He hated the feeling. And not only that, but he wanted to cross the room and wrap his arms around Eddie once more. She was currently fidgeting on the examination bed, doing her best not to protest as the nurse did her job. His breath came out more ragged than normal. What would have happened if Eddie hadn't come out when she did? One second later and he might be dead right now.

Danny and Baez had appeared on the scene, his brother fighting through other officers and supervisors to try and get to him. As much as he hated to admit it, Jamie had breathed a sigh of relief when he saw him barreling forward, Baez only inches behind. The worry on Danny's face had been evident as he pulled Jamie into a tight hug. Before, Jamie would have been worried about Danny if he'd displayed such a public amount of affection to his brother. But after Linda, Danny had really softened around the edges, though he still liked to pretend he hadn't. The two detectives had insisted on driving him and his partner to the hospital, despite some protests.

Jamie suspected that everyone felt a little bad for all the tragedy the Reagan family had endured lately, because the protests were weak, and Danny's stubbornness quickly won out. His brother and Baez would probably have still been with them right now if they hadn't gotten a call a few minutes after he and Eddie were brought it. He could tell that it was only on Baez's gentle but persistent insistence that they'd climbed back into the Camaro and drove away.

"Ma'am, please. I need you to stop moving."

He heard an exasperated huff as Eddie did her best to comply. Jamie couldn't take it anymore. He stood up, tucking his hands safely in his pockets to pretend that they weren't shaking. The nurse took a step back, glancing at him as he joined the two women by the bed. She wrote something down on her clipboard.

"Okay," she said with a sigh, "I'll go get the doc for you. Try to sit tight, okay, officers?"

They both nodded. Eddie's eyes trailed the nurse as she left the room and then flickered toward Jamie. Water pooled at the edges of her eyes. Jamie reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly in one of his. He didn't care anymore—about Barry, or rules, or even if anyone saw them. He just needed Eddie.

"You're okay?" He asked, for maybe the millionth time that morning.

She nodded, looking up at him, her face pale. Eddie squeezed his hand back and gave him a watery smile.

"You all right?" She echoed back.

Jamie smiled and sat down on the bed next to her. They exchanged glances, uncertain what to say, what to do. For a moment they simply sat in silence, Jamie's thumb rubbing soothingly over the knuckles of Eddie's hand. Jamie knew that he should let her go, to distance himself at least while they had an audience. But he couldn't. The thought of not having her next to him was scarier than seeing that gun in his face.

"Officers Reagan and Janko?" The doctor was looking down at his chart.

"That's us," Eddie said lightly, trying to laugh.

Finally looking up at them, the doctor nodded curtly and put his chart down. If he noticed their interlocked fingers, the man didn't mention it.

"You first, Officer Reagan."

Nodding, Jamie stood up and did as instructed while the doctor completed a full physical exam. As he did, thoughts of that morning refused to leave him. Sorrento's voice, calling him: " _Excuse me, officer?"_ The gun, pointed right at his face. The glass shattering, spraying over him. Jamie squeezed his eyes shut. Something about the incident had shaken him. He'd had close calls before, so why was it affecting him so much this time? He still hadn't told her, he realized. Jamie snuck a glance at Eddie, who was nervously chewing her bottom lip as she watched him vigilantly.

The doctor finished Jamie's examination and moved on to his partner. Jamie let out another shaky breath as he squeezed his eyes closed. It was in the past now. Sorrento was dead and he himself was alive. Eddie saw to that. His lips twitched up in a small smile as he looked over at his partner. Strands of her hair were falling out of her bun, some settling around her face and others sticking out at odd angles. She was his guardian angel.

It seemed like hours by time the doctor was finished. He scribbled on each of their forms before clicking the pen in his hand and sliding it into his breast pocket.

"All right," he smiled, readjusting the stethoscope around his neck. "I'll get the paperwork going and you both should be good to go within the hour."

Eddie nodded, attempting a smile. "Thanks, doc."

As soon as the man was gone, pulling the privacy curtain closed behind him, Jamie released a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. Looking over at his partner, he could see that she was just as relieved as he was to be alone again.

"You okay?" She checked again, as though it was a reflex.

By way of answer, Jamie stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. There were no bulky belts in the way this time. No jackets or radios. It was just them, together, their hearts pounding against each other. He let out a shaky breath.

"I'm okay," he assured her softly, murmuring in her ear. Eddie's fingers gripped the back of his black t-shirt, her arms tightening around his chest. "You all right?"

"Yeah," she nodded against his shoulder, her warm breath tickling his neck.

He squeezed his eyes shut, soaking in her presence. It was a miracle he was alive. That they were both alive. Everything he had planned on telling her that night on the ride home from the hospital, all that he'd swallowed and shoved back after seeing her with Barry, rose to the surface again. He had to tell her. Now, before anymore time was wasted. Jamie pulled away, just enough to see her face.

"Eddie—" He let out a breathless laugh, unsure how to tell her. What words could possibly be enough to express how he felt?

"Jamie? Jamie!"

The frantic voice of Erin interrupted, and he and Eddie had barely dropped their arms from around each other when the curtain was ripped back. His sister rushed forward, throwing her arms around him.

"Oh, thank God you're okay!" She exclaimed, clearly still shaken from her own traumatic experience merely days ago.

Jamie hugged his sister tightly, sharing a resigned look with Eddie. _Later,_ her eyes seemed to say. Nicky and Grandpa joined them moments later.

"You're both okay?" Nicky asked, stepping forward to give Eddie a quick hug.

"Yeah," Eddie assured them. "We're good."

Erin finally released her vise-like grip on her baby brother and stepped over to hug Eddie.

"Thank you," she breathed into the younger woman's ear. "Seriously, if you weren't there I don't—"

"It's okay," Eddie patted her on the back. "He's safe. We're both okay."

Nodding, Erin let go and stepped back. There were tears in her eyes. Normally Jamie would think that it was out of character for her to be so emotional. But she'd just witnessed her boss and friend shot dead literally right in front of her. And she'd already lost two siblings—Jamie knew she couldn't handle losing another.

"I'm okay," he reassured her again.

"Glad to know you're all right," Grandpa said. "You gave us all quite a scare. Your father's on his way."

"He is?" Jamie scowled. It was common for the PC to visit his officers in the hospital. But only when they were actually _admitted_ to the hospital. Before he could ask anymore questions the man himself approached.

"Jamie."

"Dad."

Why did it suddenly feel like there was something lodged in his throat? His father's expression softened. His presence was a testament to how much this whole situation had worried and rattled him.

"Walk with me?"

"Uh…" He glanced at Eddie, but it wasn't like he could say anything to her with half his family here. Swallowing back the emotions, the words he longed to say, he nodded. "Okay."

His partner was softly explaining what had happened to Erin, Nicky, and Grandpa as he stepped away, to follow his father down the hallway. They stopped in a deserted corner.

"I know I've been kind of a hard-ass about the sergeant's test."

Jamie scowled. Were they really going to talk about this now? His father continued before he could respond.

"And I'm sorry that it's caused a bit of a riff between us. It's a parent's job to want the best for their child, you know. The need to advise and nudge in a certain direction, despite how they might feel about it, is one of the strongest instincts. Second only to the need to keep them safe. I already failed one child, Jamie, I…"

It all made sense now. Jamie understood what his father was trying to say. He felt his shoulders dropping, releasing the tension there.

"I get it, Dad."

His father let out a relieved breath.

"I'm glad you're okay."

Jamie smiled wryly. "That makes two of us."

Chuckling, his father nodded and slapped a hand on his shoulder. They headed back to the others and Jamie watched as his father thanked Eddie quietly for her actions this morning. The two Reagan patriarchs left soon after that, lest the PC risk showing favoritism to his youngest son. Erin and Nicky, however, refused to leave his side.

Any other time he would have been grateful. And it wasn't that he wasn't, exactly. He was just desperate to be alone with Eddie. Their eyes met across the room and he could tell she was longing for the same thing. Jamie let out a resigned sigh. He had a feeling it was going to be a long time before he managed to find any time alone with her. They still had to talk to the investigators and detail what had happened. Still had to file mountains of paperwork and answer countless questions.

Erin insisted on driving him and Eddie to the 1-2 after they were officially released. As he and Eddie sat in the back, he dared to cover her hand with his, their hats in the middle seat acting as a cover for their covert sign of affection. The knowledge that they weren't technically breaking any rules was like a balm to his shredded, tattered heart. Who knew how his father and grandfather would react if they found out about him and Eddie this way. But in that moment, he didn't care.

They exchanged glances, their eyes saying all the things they couldn't utter out loud. When they reached the precinct, it was nearly noon. It seemed like days had passed rather than four hours. Erin parked and Jamie resisted the urge to sigh when he released Eddie's hand. The moment they walked through the doors of their house, they were bombarded with questions and expressions of relief and praise. Eddie was immediately led away by the lead investigator, she turned to throw him a glance over her shoulder as she was practically pulled away.

"You don't have to wait for me," Jamie assured his sister and niece. "Who knows how long this'll take."

"It's okay. We'll wait." Erin insisted.

He didn't have the energy to argue. Simply nodding, Jamie led them to the break room and poured them both a paper cup of coffee, mostly so they would have something to do with their hands. His own hands were still shaking, just a bit, but he managed to find them.

"Reagan."

Turning, he saw the familiar face of Renzulli, his eyes shining in concern behind his glasses.

"Hey, Sarge," Jamie said lightly, managing a smile.

"Thank God you're okay."

Renzulli stepped forward to shake his hand, pulling him in for a quick half-hug, as he nodded.

"They're looking for you."

"Yeah," he nodded.

Jamie threw a reassuring smile to his sister and niece before following Renzulli to an interview room.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he was finally released. Jamie took his time in the men's locker room, slowly dressing, tying his shoes, and gathering his things into his bag. Jamie splashed his face with cold water at the sink, taking a long moment to stare in the mirror. His face was pale. More than it ever had been before. The face of Sorrento, the deadly end of the gun, flashed in his mind. Jamie gripped the edge of the porcelain sink. It had all happened so fast. No warning. Letting out a deep breath, he squeezed his eyes closed a moment and then pushed away from the sink.

Gathering his bag, Jamie left the locker room and found Erin and Nicky right where he left them. They were muttering back and forth under their breaths but stopped suddenly when Jamie entered.

"Hey," he said weakly. Jamie attempted a laugh. "The circus is over."

They both nodded wordlessly, dumping the cold coffee from their cups into the sink and tossing the empty cups in the trash. Together they left the precinct, a little reluctantly on Jamie's part. His heart ached for Eddie. He needed to tell her how he felt, before any more time passed. But he knew she was still tied up with interviews and paperwork and that there was nothing to do but wait.

After a brief and heated argument over whether or not Jamie could drive himself home, Nicky led a reluctant Erin to their car while he climbed into his Mustang. He knew everyone was waiting for him at his father's house. Jamie let out a deep breath and started his car with shaking hands. Just as he expected, the entire Reagan clan was waiting when he walked into the kitchen sometime later.

"Uncle Jamie!" Sean exclaimed in relief, pulling him into a hug before he could even make it to the fridge.

"Hey," he said softly, gripping his nephew tightly. "I'm okay."

Jack simply gave him a curt nod, his jaw clenched. Jamie nodded back, a smile twitching briefly over his lips. Danny came in from the sitting room and clapped a hand down on his shoulder.

"Glad you're safe, kid," he said gruffly, pressing a half-full glass of whiskey into Jamie's hand.

"Thanks," he nodded, accepting the drink gratefully. Jamie took a sip and the frayed edges of his nerves settled just a bit.

Gramps had made lunch for everyone and they all sat down for an impromptu meal together. Jamie didn't have much of an appetite, but he forced down several bites for the sake of everyone else. He did his best to stay present in the conversation. Gratitude for his family filled him, but he also was overcome with the overwhelming urge to be alone. He had always needed to process things on his own and this wasn't any different. As the afternoon stretched on Danny and the boys said their goodbyes. Nicky took her leave as well, stating that she needed to finish up a few assignments before the day's end.

Jamie was left with Erin, Grandpa, and Dad. As much as he appreciated them it felt a little like he was suffocating. The time was nearing four-thirty when Jamie had an idea. It was the perfect excuse for escape as well as something, he realized with a jolt, that he craved. Draining the remainder of his whiskey, Jamie stood up from his place on the sofa. Three pairs of anxious eyes looked up at him.

"I'm okay," he promised with a laugh. "I, uh, just thought I might go to Mass now. I have a lot to give thanks for. And after this morning, I don't want to put off another thing until tomorrow."

Nods filtered around the room.

"Good idea," his father approved.

"Want us to come with?" Erin asked anxiously.

A small spark of panic twisted Jamie's stomach. He hadn't thought of that.

"No, it's okay," he assured her, "you all stick with tomorrow."

She swallowed hard and he could she was struggling with allowing him out of her sight.

"Honestly. I'm gonna go home and turn in early afterwards. I'll see you tomorrow for dinner."

Erin exchanged a look with their father and then nodded in resignation. "Okay. Be safe."

"I will," he smiled, squeezing her shoulder gently in reassurance.

"Bye Pop, Gramps."

Jamie thought he could see a spark of understanding in his father's blue eyes and he was grateful. He just needed to be alone for a while. As he left his father's house, Jamie felt himself breathing a little easier. Despite how rattled he still felt, he knew in his mind that everything was okay now. Sorrento was dead. There was no more threat to any of them. Now he just had to convince his body to believe that.


	5. Four: Soulmates

The events of that morning kept playing over and over in Eddie's mind. That voice, indistinct and yet so clear. Warning her, urging her to get to Jamie's side. Her breath still caught when she remembered seeing Jamie get shot at. Him disappearing from view as he fell forward. Not knowing, for what seemed like an age, if he was dead or alive. She remembered lifting her gun, closing one eye as she aimed and squeezed the trigger. A familiar squirm of guilt twisted her stomach. Despite the fact that Sorrento had almost killed the person she loved most in the world, he was still a human being. And she had still killed him. But the guilt was largely overpowered by her relief that Jamie was alive, and safe, and for now she latched on to that.

Eddie sucked in a deep breath as she tried to focus, tried to keep her mind off of Jamie as her hand thumped against the wooden door.

"Hey Barry," she said, fiddling with her circular gold necklace as he opened his apartment door.

"Eddie!" He smiled at her unexpected presence. "Sweetie, what are you doing here? How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I'm fine," she waved him off. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, 'course."

He stepped aside to let her inside. She could never remember what exactly it was that Barry did for a living. But she knew based off of the nice loft space he had in Tribeca that it came with a salary that was much larger than she could even dream of. Before the debacle with her father, before she discovered that he was a criminal, Barry would have been the exact kind of man she wanted. Rich and yet somehow still a good guy.

Jamie's voice flashed through her mind: _I'd spent the five million on you…_ Her heart ached, pulse racing as she thought about almost losing him.

"Eddie?"

The quiet voice brought her back from the black hole of her Jamie-centered thoughts. She blinked. Her gaze slowly traveled up to meet Barry's eyes. He had a slight scowl on his brow, wearing a quizzical look.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"You're okay?" He asked again, eyes searching her, as if she were a piece of cracked glass about to shatter all over his wooden floor. And maybe she was, but there was only one person who could fix that.

 _Jamie_. She needed to see him. To hold him, to remind herself one more time that he was alive, that Sorrento had missed, that she had saved him. But first she had to do this. Eddie cleared her throat and tried for a smile.

"I'm fine, it only hurts if I move weird, look, Barry—"

Before she could get much out he held up a hand to stop her. Barry shook his head sadly.

"I know."

She scowled. "You know?"

"Yeah," he said, laughing dryly. "It was only a matter of time before this happened. I was kidding myself to think otherwise."

"Barry, I—"

"Don't, Eddie. Don't try to make it better. I'd be an idiot not to see how much he means to you."

Eddie dropped her shoulders, her teeth nibbling on her lip nervously.

"I'm sorry. Truly, I am."

"Yeah. Me too."

"You're a good guy, Barry."

"Oh, please—"

"You _are_ ," she insisted, feeling horrible for breaking up with him like this, but also feeling impatient. She needed to see Jamie. "Really, you are. You offered to take care of me after the shooting, even after things ended kind of… well, awkwardly. And I really appreciate all you did for me. Honestly. It's just…"

Barry's mouth lifted in a pained smile. "I'm not him."

"No…"

Her mouth felt dry and she tried to swallow to make it less so. It didn't help. Eddie took in a deep, steadying breath. She had tried, _so_ _hard_ , to stop feeling the way she did about Jamie. Barry was nice enough. Why couldn't she have just settled for him? But no. It didn't matter what she did, or who she dated—all Eddie seemed to think about at the end of the day was her annoyingly perfect patrol partner whose eyes were her favorite shade of green. And how much she needed him. Wanted him.

"I get it," he sighed sadly. "You can't help who you're in love with, Eddie. Go. I'm sure he's waiting."

She grimaced, feeling like a total jerk. "I—"

" _Go_ ," he insisted, pushing her gently out the door.

"See?" She laughed lightly, "Good guy."

Barry rolled his eyes, pressing his lips together as he swallowed.

"Thank you for understanding."

He simply nodded. Eddie gave him a small smile, doing her best not to let the excitement shooting through her entire body to show too much as he sadly closed the door.

The thirty minutes it took to drive to Brooklyn Heights was much too long. Eddie shifted restlessly in her seat as she waited for the light to turn green. What if he wasn't home? Maybe he was still with his family, where he undoubtedly ended up after he'd finished at the precinct. Self-doubt was creeping in with every passing block. No. She knew Jamie—knew he would need to process this himself and would escape as soon as possible. Finally she found a place close enough to Jamie's building and parked her car.

 _Am I really doing this?_ She asked herself, gripping the steering wheel tightly. What even was 'this'? She didn't know. All she knew was that she couldn't stop thinking about this morning, when she saw that bullet somehow, impossibly, miss Jamie's head. She wasn't much of a God person. After everything she'd dealt with growing up, how could she be? Sure, she believed God existed, but she didn't think he cared much about his so-called children here on Earth. But if Sorrento missing Jamie from that close wasn't a divine intervention than she didn't know how else to explain it.

"Just get out of the car, Eddie," she muttered to herself.

Great. Now she was going crazy.

Sucking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a second and then pushed her door open. Whatever 'this' was, she was about to find out. Eddie crossed the street quickly, her heeled boots clanking against the pavement when she reached the other side. She hesitated, just for a moment, outside his building. The scene from the hospital flashed through her mind and the doubts dissipated. The way he'd said her name, right before Erin burst through the curtain…. _You can do this_ , she told herself, nodding curtly before punching in the door code and gaining entry. The elevator was agonizingly slow as it snailed its way to Jamie's floor.

A shaky breath escaped her lips as she tentatively knocked on the door. What was she going to say? _I just need to see him_ , she thought desperately. She hadn't seen Jamie since they were separated to do interviews about the shooting. It was killing her.

The door opened.

" _Jamie_ ," she breathed out, her voice thin. For all the things she needed to say, that was the only one she could get out.

"Hey…" he smiled. She could see the confused delight on his face.

"Jamie," she shook her head, suddenly fighting tears and not knowing why. _He's alive. He's right here, in front of you, smiling_ , she told herself. But that wasn't good enough. "Jamie, I—I needed to see you, make sure you're…you're okay, I still can't believe—"

"Whoa," he said, laughing as he ushered her inside and closed the door. "Hey, Eddie, I'm fine. See?"

Jamie swept his hands down over his torso. "All in one piece."

She nodded, wordlessly, feeling stupid for being on the verge of tears, but also immensely relieved to be next to him again. Her lips curled up in a small, brave smile.

"Okay," she said, laughing shakily. "I'm sorry. I'm a mess, I know, I just—I needed to tell you…"

What did she need to tell him? The words echoed in her mind again: _I'd spent the five million on you_. For the first time that day, she let those words truly sink in. She hadn't allowed herself to think before. To fully comprehend what she already knew in her heart. It was too dangerous then, surrounded by fellow officers, doctors, his family.

Jamie pressed his lips together, staying silent, eyes searching hers as he waited for her to finish. That was what she loved about him. In moments like this, when it really mattered, he knew exactly what she needed.

"I…" Eddie could hardly form the words her heart was racing so hard. "I'd spend my five million on you, too."

And there it was. That soft, sweet smile that he seemed to keep special just for her. It spread to his fern green eyes, the corners crinkling a little. Jamie stepped forward, closing what little distance had separated them.

Time seemed to slow down as she watched him approach, his gaze intense, locked with hers. And then Jamie's mouth was on hers, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her against him. Her head was spinning. She remembered the last kiss they had shared, mere feet away in this very apartment. That kiss had been tentative, hopeful, but also bittersweet. But this was different. This was…fierce and passionate and everything she'd ever wanted.

"Jamie…" she pulled away, breathless but needing an explanation. She hadn't quite expected things to go this way, even if she'd dreamed and hoped for it. Their breath mingled, their eyes locking as she shook her head. She couldn't go through this again. Not now. Not after this morning.

"I've read every single handbook, policy, and guideline provided by the NYPD," he murmured, his hands coming to rest on her hips, his forehead pressed gently to hers as he breathed out. "Twice."

"And?" Her breath caught in her throat. What was he saying?

"And nothing actually says patrol partners can't be in a relationship."

"You're sure?" She asked, already knowing the answer and feeling like she was about to cry again. "Who am I kidding? Of course you're sure, Harvard."

"And Barry?"

She shook her head, heart beat thrumming through her ears.

Jamie just grinned, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. "I've known for a while. Since our hearing, actually. After you were shot, I…well I realized some things. But then Barry reappeared, and you seemed, I don't know, if not happy than at least content and I didn't want to ruin that for you. I couldn't be the guy that only admitted his feelings because some other man was filling a role I wanted to be in. I wouldn't make you choose, as much as it killed me to see you with him."

She reached up, brushing a fingertip along his strong jaw. "Yeah, well, lucky for you there wasn't much of a choice. It's always been you, Jamie. Even when you're too much of a boy scout for your own good."

He rolled his eyes and parted his lips, no doubt to issue some smart-ass quip. But she kissed him before he could. Pulled him close and pressed her lips firmly, hungrily to his. They both smiled through it. Eddie felt a warmth spreading through her she wasn't sure she had ever felt before. Jamie deepened the kiss, one hand sliding up her back, resting at the base of her skull where his fingers twisted into her hair. She tightened her grip on the front of his t-shirt and took a step backwards, suddenly pinned between him and the wall of his foyer.

Eddie gasped out a breath as Jamie trailed his lips over her cheek, her jaw, down the side of her neck. How long had she dreamed of this? How often had she imagined what it would feel like to have his lips on hers again and not have to pull away, or pretend the next day it never happened? This was better than she ever could have hoped for.

His lips found hers again and Eddie lost herself in his touch. His taste. Her hands moved over his strong, muscled chest, over his face, through his hair. Every inch of her was thrumming with the feel of his touch. Jamie pulled away, breathless, biting his bottom lip as he rested his forehead against hers. She realized that her ribs were aching, pain shooting out from the tender spots as she sucked in deep breaths. She didn't care, though. Jamie was worth a little pain.

"Come on," he murmured, slipping a hand into hers and leading her across his apartment and to the bedroom.

She didn't think it was possible for her heart to beat any faster, but her pulse quickened. Jamie paused, flipping on the lamp at his bedside and then looking down at her, questioning. _Is this okay?_ The question floated in the depths of his entrancing green eyes. She hesitated, just for a moment, before nodding. Releasing his hand, she slipped off her jacket and kicked off her shoes.

Jamie smiled sweetly, nervously, as he swallowed hard.

"You're sure?" He asked, his eyes scanning her face for any signs of something amiss.

She rolled her eyes in exasperation, but she couldn't help but smile. He really was such a boy scout. And she loved him even more for it.

"Just take off your shirt, Reagan."

He grinned and did as instructed. Eddie smiled, stepping forward to press her hands against his bare chest. Her right hand paused over his heart. How many times had she resisted doing that exact thing at the end of a tour, after finding her way into the men's locker room? Jamie's fingers brushed against her skin as he gripped the hem of her shirt and helped her out of it. It dropped in a heap at their feet. Eddie's stomach twisted, just a bit. Did he like what he saw?

"You're so beautiful," he breathed out, almost as if answering the question, shaking his head lightly as his thumbs brushed against her hips, her stomach.

Eddie framed his face in her hands, pulling his lips slowly to hers. He leaned forward, pressing her against his mattress slowly. She could feel the electricity between them, the longing they'd both felt for years rippling through the air. They were both testing the waters, cautious and careful. Eddie let out a deep breath as he pressed his lips to her stomach.

"Jamie…" she murmured, her hands gliding over his back, his strong shoulders, his rippling arms as his mouth found hers again. Eddie's lips parted, her tongue asking for entry. Jamie complied, their breath mingling as their mouths danced.

The pain in her ribs was slowly increasing. But being with Jamie made it worth it. She couldn't stop now. Suddenly they were twisting, rolling, legs and bodies entwined. Eddie sucked in a deep breath, letting out an involuntary hiss as pain shot through her chest. Okay, that one hurt.

"What is it?" Jamie asked, pulling away immediately.

She shook her head, pressing her lips to the corner of his jaw. Nothing she couldn't handle.

"It's fine," she breathed in his ear. "I'm fine."

Despite her words, the pain in her ribs had definitely increased tenfold. She winced involuntarily.

"Eddie."

"'S fine," she repeated, shaking her head and kissing his neck. She could feel how much he wanted this. How much _she_ wanted it. "I want you to be happy."

"Eddie…"

He pushed her away gently, scowling as he sat up. She sighed impatiently. _Damn ribs,_ she thought as she sat up too, folding her legs beneath her.

"Hey," Jamie lifted a hand to turn her face to his. His eyes, burning intensely, met hers. "I _never_ want to hurt you."

"You didn't, Jamie, come on, can we just—"

His gaze flickered down to her ribs, where the yellow-brown bruises were testament to her near-death experience two and a half weeks ago. He shook his head. She knew he didn't believe her. And okay, maybe the throbbing was now starting to be a sharp pain, but she could handle it. She didn't care. Jamie was worth it.

"Eddie," he smiled, cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand. His thumb brushed over her skin and she bit her bottom lip. A small laugh escaped, and he glanced down for a moment, swallowing hard, before meeting her eyes again. "Don't get me wrong. I want this…I can't—can't tell you how much I want you."

"Then let's just—"

"But please don't ever think that we need to have sex for me to be happy. I _am_ happy. I don't need anything more in this moment than what I have. Right here, right now."

Eddie blinked at him a few times. No guy had ever said that before. But then again, Jamie knew her past experiences—that stupid hazing thing and the pictures in college, that Singer asshole, even when she'd kissed their training sergeant and then felt like a total idiot. Jamie had always shown her more respect than she knew what to do with. He'd never blamed her or shamed her, even when she wasn't completely blameless. Because that's just who he was. Her heart swelled a little. What was she supposed to say to that?

"I…"

"I'm not done," he said sternly, eliciting another eye roll from her. "Eddie, you are stubborn, and bossy, and a pain in my ass—"

"Hey!" She protested lightly.

"Shh!" He glared playfully. "But you're also intelligent, and spirited, and not afraid to fight for what you believe in. I trust you with my life. I respect you. And I'll be right here, forever, if you'll have me. We don't need to rush anything."

The tears were back. As much as she teased him about being a boy scout, he really was a good guy. She didn't deserve him. How had she managed to sneak into his heart? How had he stolen hers? Eddie gave him a smile, biting her bottom lip to fight the tears.

"Okay," she muttered, nodding and leaning forward to wrap her arms around him.

She could feel Jamie's smile against her cheek. He pulled her to his chest, holding her close in a way that avoided pressing against her tender ribs. Eddie let out a shaky breath, still fighting the tears.

"Can we just lay here?" She asked. "Together?"

"Of course."

Jamie pressed his lips to the side of her cheek. They readjusted, his blankets rustling as they got comfortable laying side-by-side, foreheads pressed together. For a long time they lay there in silence. She absorbed his presence, their legs intertwined and faces so close they were breathing the same oxygen.

"Tell me this isn't a dream."

Her eyes found Jamie's. The corner of his mouth jerked upwards, his fingertips trailing up her arm and sending shivers through her body. Her own hand pressed against the crook of his neck and shoulder, her thumb brushing against his skin.

"It's a dream come true," he laughed.

"Don't be sappy," she rolled her eyes. Jamie laughed again, leaning forward to kiss her softly for a long moment.

His fingers curled under her chin, his thumb catching her bottom lip. Eddie closed her eyes. Had she ever been this happy? Certainly not with any other boyfriend. Josh and Barry had always been place-holders, half-hearted attempts to distract herself from Jamie. But even before them, she'd never felt so close to another guy. She smiled. She had found her one and a half-billion chance. Her soulmate.

"I love you."

Eddie opened her eyes. Jamie was staring at her, green eyes searching her face. Her lips curled up.

"I know."

She thought about the hug they'd shared under the bridge. About the words he'd whispered as they clung to each other, desperate: _I'd spend the five million on you_.

"And I love you too."


	6. Five: Now or Never

Jamie woke up slowly, taking in a deep breath as he became aware of the light pouring in through his window. Blinking his eyes open, he realized someone was beside him. A figure was curled against his side. The events of last night came rushing back in an instant and he smiled. It wasn't a dream. Eddie yawned and his smile grew wider at how cute she sounded.

"Hey…"

Eddie looked up at him, unaware that he'd woken up. She grinned. "Morning, Sleeping Beauty."

"Time is it?" He asked, ignoring her jab.

She rolled onto her back and reached with her left hand for her cell phone.

"Nearly ten," Eddie replied after checking the screen. She tossed the phone behind her shoulder and it landed on the mattress with a soft _thud_.

"Mmm," was his only reply as he slipped an arm around her waist and closed his eyes again.

"Jamie," she laughed, shaking her head. "Don't you have church with your family?"

He shook his head and opened his eyes. She was looking up at him, snuggled against his chest. _I can get used to this,_ he thought with a smile.

"I went last night," he explained. "After Sorrento, I figured I needed to give some extra thanks. And, well…I had a lot on my mind. I needed some advice."

"From…God?" Her tone was quizzical, not even a hint of judgement.

He shrugged. "From God. From the priest. It helps to sit there sometimes. Thinking it through…talking about it, even if the conversation tends to be a bit one-sided."

"I don't really get it. But I'm glad you made peace with it. And," Eddie smiled, intertwining their fingers together. "I'm not going to complain if it means I get to keep you right here."

"Agreed." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Are we laying in bed all day?"

"I'm open to other options," she shrugged lazily.

"How about a run?"

"Ugh. You disgust me, Reagan."

"What? I run every Sunday. It's called a routine, Janko."

"Is there _anything_ you do wrong?"

 _Staying away from you_ , he thought seriously, but his heart was too light to go there. That was the past now. He just laughed.

"Is that a no?"

Eddie sighed. "I could run. But _only_ if there is food afterwards."

"Deal," he grinned. "Breakfast's on me."

"Ever the gentleman," she grumbled good-naturedly.

Jamie rolled his eyes and shook his head, his face hurting from the smile spread there.

"Shut up."

He peeled the blankets back and sat up. The absence of Eddie's warmth was noticeable. The blankets rustled as she did the same. Jamie found their discarded shirts from the night before. He threw Eddie hers and tossed his own into the hamper across the room. She was wearing a pair of his sweatpants that she'd exchanged her jeans for last night sometime before they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms.

"I'll go get my bag. I have gym stuff in there."

"Okay," he smiled.

Eddie quickly slipped on her shirt and zipped up her boots, pulling on her jacket as she opened his front door. While she was gone Jamie pulled on a pair of jogging pants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie then laced up his running shoes. He was washing his face in the bathroom when she returned.

"My turn," she insisted, squeezing past him to get inside and then pushing him out through the doorway as he shook his head in amusement.

In the kitchen, he made a couple protein shakes to hold them off until breakfast and filled two bottles with water. Eddie opened the door to the bathroom, her hair pulled back in a pony tail, wearing a pair of leggings and an exercise shirt. She'd snagged his battered, old red Harvard hoodie from a hook on the back of the bathroom door. He bit his lip, admiring how good she looked wearing his hoodie.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Laughing, he crossed the room and offered her one of the shakes. They drank them together before heading downstairs. He slipped his hand into hers as they waited for the elevator. They shared a look. Jamie could still hardly believe this was real. Nothing felt different, really. Except that now he didn't have to hold back when he felt the overwhelming urge to touch her. To hold her hand. To kiss her. When they reached the street Jamie led the way, walking a few blocks to warm up and allow their shakes to settle.

"I can't believe I let you drag me into this," Eddie sighed.

"You love it," he teased.

"Yeah, right."

"What's wrong, Janko? Afraid I'll beat you?"

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes.

"Come on. Let's raise the stakes. Last one to Walt Whitman Park pays for breakfast."

"You said breakfast's on you!" She glared.

Jamie shrugged. "I changed my mind. May the best man win."

"I think you mean _woman_. Fine. On three." They both got into position, the strangers on the sidewalk ignoring them. Eddie grinned and looked over at Jamie. He had a cocky grin on his face. _Oh-ho,_ she thought. _Bring it, Reagan_. He was not going to win this. "Three!"

She took off, settling into a medium pace as her feet pounded against the pavement. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Jamie about to out pace her. His legs were longer, but she wouldn't let him win. Instead she'd lull him into a false sense of security and book it at the end. That was how he'd lose.

Her plan worked flawlessly. Jamie passed her about a block away from the park, but as soon as it was in sight she ramped up her speed. Her ribs were twinging again, but she wasn't about to let a little pain stop her from winning. She threw her hands up in victory when she entered the park mere feet in front of Jamie. Whooping, she turned to grin at him.

"You're such a cheater!" He complained, chest heaving, as they both slowed to a jog and then a leisurely walk. Eddie laughed.

"I'm going to buy the _biggest_ stack of pancakes you've ever seen."

Jamie groaned. "And you'll probably eat them all, too."

" _What_ ever!" She protested, punching his shoulder lightly as she laughed. Jamie grinned, his hands on his head as he sucked in air.

They ended up on the grass, nursing their water bottles and stretching. Eddie let out a satisfied sigh and lay back against the cool ground. She didn't check to see how long they had been there when she and Jamie finally stood up. Every minute felt like a second and an hour all at once. Would forever be enough time with him? She wondered absently as they started at a leisurely pace down the footpath.

After a few minutes, Eddie noticed her partner was lagging and looked back to see Jamie bent down, retying his shoe.

"Seriously, Reagan? I'm starving!"

"Just a minute. Can you come here a moment?"

She rolled her eyes. He was really pushing it, honestly. She needed some carbs asap. And coffee.

"What?"

Jamie reached up and took her hands in his.

"Eddie...I know this might sound crazy, but, well, we've already wasted so much time and I've been a total idiot, so I—"

"Jamie, what are you—?" She looked around frantically after realizing he was literally down on one knee. In public. The attention they were getting was making her itchy. Eddie looked down at him, whispering hurriedly, "Jamie, people are staring."

He continued, unperturbed. "I love you, Eddie. No doubt about it. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

He had fantasized about this moment. Probably more than was normal. In every version, it seemed to always involve a fancy restaurant and a well-thought out plan that accounted for all contingencies. But this was something he couldn't hold back anymore. She needed to know. Who knew if either of them would have another tomorrow. It was now or never.

"Holy shit. I—okay, Jamie, _please_ stand up," she begged, laughing, her eyes just a little watery.

Jamie laughed too, rolling his eyes as he stood up, hands still linked with hers. Her dazzling blue eyes were wide. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

"What—what happened to 'we don't have to rush'? I—We haven't even _dated_."

"Maybe not officially," he shrugged, smiling and squeezing her hands. "But, look, could you please hear me out? No talking."

"Okay."

"How many nights have we gone out after tour, for drinks, for food? How many times did we go out and pretend that we were looking for a date when we both wanted nothing more than to find a dark corner together and never leave? We already know each other better than anyone else in the world. Isn't that what dating is for?

"When we first met, I thought, 'whose idea was it to give this girl a gun?'" He paused when she laughed, pressing her lips together. "But then I saw you on the beat. Your dedication. Your passion. I taught you and learned from you and we've grown together these past four years. You're my best friend, Eddie. When that incident with Mike happened and you said I was hung up on someone you were right—but it wasn't Sydney. It was you."

"I knew it!" She exclaimed, shaking her head. "I _knew_ it. I was so pissed you wouldn't admit it!"

"Is that you talking?!" He demanded, raising his eyebrows at her. Eddie groaned. Leave it to Jamie to use her own words against her.

"Fine," she huffed.

"I never mentioned Syd until a year ago because she wasn't important anymore. So what if we were engaged? We were also young and naïve. Sydney dumping me was probably the best thing that ever could have happened. Because if she hadn't, if she'd decided to stick it out and we'd gone through with the wedding, I might not be standing here today. With you. I never felt about Sydney the way I feel with you. You and I, we…we belong together. Now will you help me out here and give me an answer?"

For a long moment he stared at her, eyes scanning her face, his breath caught somewhere between his lungs and his mouth. Eddie's eyes met his and he lost himself in their deep blue depths. Like an oasis in the middle of a desert, offering him hope and relief. Her lips turned up in a smile as she finally nodded.

"Yes. Of course, Jamie! I'll marry you."

"Oh, thank God," he started breathing again, grinning and wrapping his arms around her tight, pulling her close. He nestled his face against her neck. His fingers tingled with excitement and joy. _She said yes!_ Relief filled him, calming his racing heart. Eddie's laugh was muffled against his chest, her arms squeezing his chest.

"Did you think I would say no?"

"I don't know, I—" He let out a long breath, pulling away and putting an arm around her shoulders. Jamie looked down at her. "I wasn't sure."

"Well," she replied, sliding her own arm around his waist and leaning into him. "The thought never crossed my mind. I just wanted you to sweat it out. Now let's get those pancakes. I'm famished."

Jamie shook his head, grinning as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. They found the nearest café and got seats. Eddie, intent on her pancakes, immediately ordered the largest stack there was alongside two coffees. After a moment of debate, Jamie ordered a ham, veggie, and cheese omelet.

"So where's my ring, Reagan?" Eddie teased after the waitress had filled their mugs with steaming coffee.

"Yeah…sorry," he laughed. "I didn't plan for it to be like that. But after everything, I just thought, who knows what tomorrow will bring? Now's as good a time as any."

"Didn't plan? Meaning you've planned out a proposal? For me, obviously—the one you undoubtedly planned for Sydney doesn't count."

Jamie sipped his coffee and gave a nonchalant shrug. "Uh, yeah, I mean…" He played with his mug, avoiding her gaze a moment. "The thought's crossed my mind."

" _Proposing_ _marriage_? To me."

He smiled, shrugging again and pressing his lips together. "Yeah…"

Their food arrived soon after that, putting a lull on conversation. Eddie was halfway through her pancakes when she put down her cutlery and looked over at him.

"Okay, cards on the table," she quoted him. "I…uh…I may have, sorta, written something. About us."

Jamie made a face, trying not to laugh. "Like…a poem? Or—oh. No. If you start rapping, Janko, I swear to God I will—"

"No!" She scowled, nudging her shoulder against his. Eddie rolled her eyes and took a drink of her coffee. She cleared her throat. "Actually, I…. Well they're more like vows."

"Vows."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Let's hear them."

"What?" She glanced around, seeing other tables filled with customers. "Now?"

"Yeah," he nodded, grinning. "Right now."

"I…" She chewed on the corner of her lip, feeling ridiculous, but also like a giddy teenager. Eddie laughed breathlessly. "Okay. All right. Here…here I go. I will always have your back. I-I'll earn your respect, and pay you respect every day we have…. I'll be your medic, your chaplain, in our…our army of two."

Jamie smiled, reaching over the table to put his hand over hers. How was he so lucky? He dragged his tongue over his lips and squeezed her hand.

"That was…beautiful. I have a confession, though."

"Oh?" Eddie asked, using her free hand to cut into her pancakes and take a bite. "What's that?"

"I sorta have some too."

"Vows?" She laughed. Was this really happening?

"Yes." Jamie smiled. "They're, uh…If you fall behind, I'll wait up. I'll be your scout—" Eddie laughed and rolled her eyes at that—"your night watchman, your cavalry. You can count on me."

Eddie brushed her thumb against his hand. She smiled, nodding, "and you can count on me."

For a long moment they stared at each other, smiling like idiots.

"I think they're missing something," Jamie said after a beat.

"What? No. They're perfect."

He made a face. "I mean, close, but—"

"What could we _possibly_ add?"

Jamie took a long drink of coffee, his eyes sparkling over the top of his mug. Eddie swallowed another bite of pancakes. She shook his hand, still curled over hers.

"C'mon! You gotta tell me. What should we add?"

"No retreat, no surrender."

Eddie snorted into her coffee, lowering the cup without taking a drink to prevent from choking. She shook her head through the laughter.

"You really _are_ an idiot."

"What?" He asked innocently, grinning. "It's appropriate."

"Springsteen, Jamie? In our _vows_?"

He just shrugged, draining the rest of his coffee. Releasing her hand, he slipped his arm over the top of the booth seat and around her shoulders. She rolled her eyes and switched the fork in her left hand to her now free dominant right, shoveling in more pancakes.

...

"Told you you'd finish them all," he laughed sometime later as they walked, hand-in-hand, onto the busy New York City streets. Eddie's only response was to jab him in the ribs, prompting more laughter. "Hey, when did you write those vows, anyway?"

"Hmm?" She asked, looking up at him. Her eye had been on a small group of teenagers across the street and he could tell she'd instantly switched into Cop Mode for a moment.

"The vows," he prompted, "when'd you write them?"

"I don't know…" Eddie shrugged, suddenly looking chagrinned. "Like, a while ago…"

"Define 'a while.'"

"Why does it matter?"

"It just does!" He insisted.

"Ugh," she rolled her eyes. "I don't know, like maybe one year ago I started them? And over time I've just, sort of, I don't know, added onto them I guess. It wasn't a totally conscious effort, you know? They just popped into my head occasionally. And what about yours, huh? When did _you_ make vows?"

"About six months ago," he shrugged, looking over at her as they walked.

Eddie narrowed her eyes, thinking. Wait a minute, wasn't that…? That was around the time Jamie had delivered that baby in the movie theater. When he'd given her that _look_ , afterwards, when they were talking about having kids themselves. Had she been right? Had he been thinking about having kids with _her_ in that moment?

"Really?" She asked breathlessly, "that was…"

He gave her a knowing nod. "Yeah. I still can't believe they named the baby after me."

"I think you mean _me_ ," she scoffed.

"Hey, we both know they meant to name him after me! It's the thought that counts, right?"

"Excuse me. After the work I put in to get them a new place to live, I think it's only fair that _I_ got the credit."

"Whatever. Because it's so hard to guilt-trip someone—besides, I seem to remember that deal being somewhat of a disaster. I am never—and I mean _never_ —working a security detail in the Hamptons ever again. I don't care who it's for."

Eddie giggled, remembering the aftermath of their Hamptons trips earlier in the year. "All's well that ends well, as they say."

"Yeah, well, I say that my ass _still_ hurts."

"Who knew guarding Jay-Z would be such a harrowing ordeal," Eddie said solemnly, pretending to shudder at the memory.

Jamie just shook his head at her, sighing softly. She was impossible. And he couldn't be happier.


	7. Six: Welcome to the Family

**Happy Friday! Here's a new chapter. :) I'm not entirely happy with this one, but I'm taking a much-needed break from moving and cleaning to post this for you all! Let me know what you think? Thank you again for all the wonderful comments and reviews! It means a lot to me. :)**

* * *

They spent most of the afternoon discussing their attack plan. How would they convince his father to let them stay partners? What would they say to their fellow officers when the inevitable gossip came up about them being together only because of the position that Jamie's father held? The conversation had lulled to a pause as they both spread out over Eddie's couch. Jamie checked his watch, then realized with a jolt it was later than he'd thought.

"It's almost time, we should get ready for dinner."

"We?"

"Yeah," he nodded, turning his head to look at Eddie beside him. "You're my fiancée. You're family now."

Eddie scowled. "You sure that's okay? You don't think lightning will strike the table or anything?"

Jamie gave her a sardonic look, shaking his head. "Eddie, don't sell yourself short. You're a good person. Please, will you come to Sunday dinner with me?"

She hesitated, chewing the corner of her lip as she thought it over. The thought of being in the same room as all eight Reagans was terrifying. But she could see by the puppy dog eyes he was giving her that it meant a lot to Jamie. And anyway, since when had she backed away from a challenge? She'd fallen down a flight of stairs and taken a bullet to the chest a few weeks ago. Dinner with a bunch of stubborn, bull-headed Irishmen and women would be a piece of cake, right?

"Okay," she conceded quietly. "I'll go change."

"Thank you," Jamie smiled, squeezing her hand tightly with his.

Eddie stood up, sighing as she remembered her last two encounters with the police commissioner.

"You know," she shouted from her bedroom at Jamie, "the last time I saw your father he was drilling me about the sergeant's exam. And the time before that, he was visiting me in the hospital. Both incidents were easily the most awkward encounters of my life. You're sure this dinner thing is a good idea?"

Jamie appeared at her doorway, shaking his head and laughing as he tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He leaned a shoulder casually against the doorway. "Stop stalling. You're going to be fine. I promise. Besides, you've already met them all. And you know Erin and Danny."

"Sure." She finally decided on a sweater and swapped her t-shirt for it. "But as your partner. Not as your fiancée. Don't you think they'll be more than a little curious as to why we're engaged, not just dating?"

"We'll explain it. Remember the plan?"

"Yeah, but it's _family_. Their job is to be difficult. Oh God." Her face drained of color as a thought occurred to her. "Jamie...What if they think I'm pregnant? What if they assume you knocked me up and now we're getting married because you're a Reagan and God forbid there's a baby out of wedlock!"

"What?" He laughed. "You're definitely overthinking this. It'll be fine, okay?"

She wanted to trust him, but the doubts were eating at her.

"Maybe I am. But there's no way your dad hasn't heard the rumors! You've told me yourself, he says he knows everything. He's going to hate me!"

Jamie was suddenly right next to her, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her back reassuringly.

"He won't hate you. No one will hate you. Please trust me? I understand this is a bit overwhelming, but I'm right here. I'll be right beside you every step. Okay?"

She sucked in a deep breath and nodded. _Pull yourself together!_ she scolded herself. "Okay."

Jamie had to admit that asking Eddie to accompany him to family dinner made him more than nervous. Terrified was a good descriptor. But he wanted her to be there and despite the tension between him and his father, he craved the family's approval. If not of their continued partnership, then at least of their engagement. They would be okay with it, right? A spark of defiance shot through him. Even if they didn't approve he didn't care. Eddie was the one thing he was certain of right now, the one person he'd ever felt truly connected to. Nothing was going to tear them apart. Not anymore.

He could tell Eddie was panicking as she rushed around her room, throwing on a bit of make up even though he didn't think she needed it. Checking his watch, he realized he would be late again. They were probably going to kill him. But the giddy skip of his heart at the thought of Eddie being by his side for dinner made it impossible to worry. Pulling out his phone, he sent out a group text to his father, brother, and sister detailing that he was running late. They probably wouldn't see it, considering his father's no-phone policy at the dinner table, but he'd feel less guilty for trying.

"Shit. We're going to be late, aren't we?"

Jamie glanced up to see Eddie's worried face.

"Probably," he conceded, reaching for her hand. "But it's okay. Wouldn't be the first time."

He managed a small laugh despite his nerves. Eddie gulped, nodding and gathering her purse. She let out a quick breath before taking his hand.

"Let's go."

Squeezing her hand in reassurance, Jamie led the way out of her apartment. Eddie was practically jumping out of her skin by the time they reached the Reagan household. He rubbed his thumb gently over the knuckles of her hand as they hurried up the driveway.

"I'll go in first, get another place setting," he murmured as he helped her out of her coat quickly. Jamie pressed a soft, chaste kiss to her temple. "You'll be fine."

She nodded, her nerves distracting her as Jamie disappeared into the dining room as she hung up both of their coats. Eddie stood nervously in the foyer, chewing her lip as she waited. She could hear the conversation in the other room. Jamie stepped back, reaching out his hand for her. Sucking in a deep breath, Eddie rushed forward to interlock her fingers with his. For better or for worse, this was the start of their new beginning.

...

Eddie offered to help Nicky with the dishes after dinner. She gave Jamie a reassuring smile before standing up and following the younger woman to the kitchen.

Jamie found his father and grandfather in the sitting room. He pressed his lips together tightly, hands tucked in the front pocket of his jeans. Both patriarchs looked up at him. His father's face was terrifyingly blank. Gramps' baby blue eyes studied him in silence. Jamie swallowed hard and then took a seat on the couch across from the two men.

"You're sure about this?"

Jamie leveled his father's gaze. He ran his tongue over his lips, his eyes moving from his father to his grandfather. These were two men he respected and loved very much. But they'd had their differences over the years. What family hadn't? Would they try to push this, even though the rule wasn't official? Would they respect that he and Eddie had discussed it, that he'd figured out a way to keep her next to him, both on and off the beat without hooks or favors?

"One hundred percent." Jamie finally answered, turning his eyes back to his father.

The man who raised him let out one of his sighs—not exactly disapproving, but not really accepting, either. He was prepared for that, though. He'd been going over reactions in his head again and again ever since he realized there was not an official policy about partners having a romantic relationship.

"You realize there's good reason that rule is in place, official or not, right?" Gramps wanted to know. "Vows or no."

He'd expected an interrogation. In fact, he had been preparing for approximately two weeks. Ever since Eddie was shot. Ever since he'd finally been brave enough, or stupid enough, to admit to himself that he loved her. And that he didn't want to pretend anymore just for the sake of being patrol partners. But that didn't make him any less terrified. What if they didn't want to accept this? Of course his father had said, "welcome to our family," but how far did that welcome extend?

"Of course, Pop." He let out a breathless laugh. "But, just hear me out, okay?"

A moment ticked by. Then another. Jamie took in a shaky breath, looking from one pair of blue eyes to the other. Finally his father gave a slow nod.

"Go on."

"Look, Dad, I get it…" He swallowed again, gathering his thoughts a moment. Jamie rubbed his hands together, hanging between his knees as his elbows dug into his thighs. "Emotions can cloud judgement. Personal issues can potentially create tension on the job. We get that. We've _seen_ that. But I know that it won't be like that. Not for us."

His father simply stared. Grandpa scoffed.

"And how could you possibly know that?"

"Because," he smiled, "I've been in love with her for years. Eddie is everything to me. She's the best partner I've ever had, my best friend. We've been fighting this thing we have because I didn't want to be apart from her on the beat, and didn't want to sneak around, but—"

Jamie paused, thinking about when this all started. Even though Eddie's vest had done its job, he had realized that he couldn't keep doing this. Not to mention the reappearance of Barry. Between him and Josh last year, Jamie had known that he couldn't take the jealousy anymore. The vise around his heart every time he had to see Eddie smiling at Barry instead of him. He'd been driving himself crazy staying away from her.

And he had only done that because of the so-called rules. Because despite how much he cared for Eddie, he couldn't bear to sneak around his father's back, to disrespect the job—or his father—like that. To disappoint him. But those rules had never stopped him from feeling the way he felt. Never stopped Eddie from feeling the same way. And yet she'd still had his back. Still saved his life.

"But that didn't change how we felt. We've been partners for over four years and obviously there have been times when we've fought. Sometimes over personal things, sometimes over the job and how to do it. But we've stayed partners despite it all. No matter what, we've always figured it out. Talked it over. Had each other's back, regardless of how we were feeling towards the other person in any particular moment.

"And whether or not we ever admitted it, or allowed ourselves to go there, I know that we've cared for each other as more than partners, more than just friends, a majority of that time. I know that it won't matter because nothing has changed between us. Nothing except that, for the first time, we can actually say what we feel—and act on those feelings—without having to feel guilty about it."

A thick silence engulfed them. Jamie fidgeted nervously with his watch for a moment.

"He's right, you know."

They all looked up to see Erin leaning against the door jamb, arms crossed lightly over her chest.

"I've been wondering for years how long they could hold out. Danny and I made a bet."

" _What_?" Jamie asked incredulously. He shouldn't be surprised, not after the conversation they'd had after Eddie's close encounter. But _Danny_?

Erin grinned. Pushing away from the doorway, she crossed the room and dropped onto the couch beside him. She nudged her shoulder against his and threw him a sideways glance.

"I'm with Jamie on this one, Dad. They're gonna be fine."

He looked across the room, to his father whose face was still furiously impassive. Finally, he gave a small smile. Jamie let out a breath of relief.

"Okay," his father relented. "Clearly you've thought this through and done your homework. I'm not saying it'll be easy. Unofficial or not the rule is important. But…we can work on it. Together."

"Thank you," Jamie nodded. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his chest. At least it wasn't a resolute 'hell no'. "Pop?"

Jamie moved his gaze to his grandfather, who gave the smallest hint of a smile and threw his hands up.

"You have a solid point."

The smile that spread over his face was so wide it almost hurt. He didn't know what to say. He settled with a nod and stood up. The talk had gone much better than he'd expected. It almost felt like he was floating on air, he was so happy.

...

Jamie found Eddie in the kitchen. She and Nicky were just finishing up the last of the dishes. He paused in the doorway a moment and watched. They were talking quietly, about something he couldn't hear. Suddenly Eddie jerked her head back and let out a deep belly laugh. Nicky giggled beside her, lifting a hand to her mouth.

"What's so funny?" He asked revealing his place at the entrance to the kitchen.

Both women turned to him, eyes sparkling with laughter. But he only had eyes for one. He still couldn't believe it. She was his—to have and to hold, forever.

"Nothing," Eddie grinned, lifting one shoulder in a shrug as she put down her drying towel.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure. You ready to go?"

She nodded, turning to Nicky with a wink and a soft jab to the shoulder. He wondered if maybe he should be worried. But at the moment he felt too happy to really care. He thought about her sitting next to him at the family table. So many things had changed this year. It would take a bit of time to adjust, surely, but today's result had been better than expected. Nicky and Erin were completely on board. Even Danny seemed supportive, which would have surprised him if Linda hadn't tragically died almost a year ago. And whatever the reason, he appreciated the support.

Jamie found their coats and helped his fiancée into hers. _Fiancée_. The smile on his face grew wider. He loved the sound of that. They made their rounds saying goodbye. Danny and the boys were already gone, but it was still twenty minutes later when they finally made it to Eddie's car. Jamie still hated it when she drove. But considering she had saved his life recently, he couldn't deny her the pleasure.

He held the driver's side door for her, then quickly crossed over to climb into the passenger seat of her Porsche. The engine was already running. She put it into gear and pulled away from the curb of his childhood home.

"Is your dad angry about this?" Her voice was quiet, not self-assured like usual. Jamie reached over and took her hand. He squeezed it in reassurance.

"About us?"

Her shoulders lifted delicately in a shrug as she threw him a glance in the dim lighting.

"About us wanting to stay partners, at least."

Jamie let out a careful breath. Was his father angry? He thought back to the conversation he'd had with his dad and grandfather. They weren't angry, per se. Just cautious.

"I think we just blind-sided him. He's not totally on board with the whole married-partners thing."

"But he's okay with the rest? Do you think he was pissed I called him 'Dad'? I didn't really mean to, it just kind of slipped out, you know me and I—"

They eased to a stop at a red light and she turned her worried gaze to him. Jamie smiled, leaning closer.

"He has much more of a sense of humor than he lets on. We're good. I promise."

"Okay," she nodded curtly, pressing on the gas now that the light was green. "As long as you're sure."

"Absolutely."


	8. Seven: Line in the Sand

Jamie looked down at the woman in his arms. How many times had he imagined this? Longed for it? He couldn't help but kick himself a little. How had he not thought about looking through the guidebooks and policies before? How had he been so stupid as to waste so much time? But it hadn't really been wasted, had it? Eddie was his best friend. He'd never felt so close to anyone before, not even Sydney. The only other person he'd been this completely open with, so connected with was…well, Joe. And that was a completely different dynamic, for obvious reasons.

He and Eddie had a connection—not just an attraction, but a deep, soul-binding connection. They had been skirting around the physical attraction for years trying to keep it professional, but that was only one aspect to the special bond that they shared. He remembered his conversation with Erin, after Eddie had been shot and he was struggling with how he felt, despite how much he knew that he shouldn't. _I've seen you two together. And what I see is more than just patrol partners…I think what everyone sees…is two people that seem to belong together_. _What if it was Eddie that had been killed_? She had asked, _Is there anything you would regret for the rest of your life 'cause you never told her?_

He had known she was right. He'd been denying it for years but after that conversation he was unable to do it any longer. Eddie had been close to death and he'd been an idiot for the past four years. He'd known in that moment that he couldn't deny it any longer, no matter his reasons.

Eddie stirred against his chest. They had come to his apartment after dinner and fell onto his couch in exhaustion. It had certainly been a long few weeks. They'd talked for hours in hushed voices, Eddie cuddled against his chest, until she drifted off to sleep somewhere around three a.m. Jamie himself had been unable to fall asleep, his mind drifting with the possibilities, the risks, the gossip that they would face on their next tour. Not that it mattered. But he still couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Jamie…?"

He smiled sleepily at her hoarse, drowsy voice.

"I'm here."

"Mmm." She shifted in his arms, trying to get more comfortable. "I should go home…"

"No," he said, slightly panicky. After everything that had happened recently, he couldn't bear to have her anywhere but next to him.

"No?" Her voice was still thick with sleep, but she seemed much more awake now.

His arms tightened around her, just a bit. Jamie shook his head. The incident with Sorrento had rattled him more than he'd been able to admit before. What would have happened if Eddie hadn't rushed out of the coffee shop? Hadn't shot at the man before he could shoot again?

"No," he breathed out. "I…can you stay? Please?"

He remembered a similar moment, years ago, when Eddie had made her first fatal shot. Funny how the roles had reversed, even though she was the one who had killed a man yesterday morning. Jamie made a drowsy mental note to check in on her in the morning, to make sure she wasn't feeling the same way she had three years ago. Eddie's arm, warm against his chest, moved up so she could place a hand against his cheek.

"I'm right here," she promised, brushing a thumb against his stubbly cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," he smiled, finally feeling his eyes drift closed heavily.

Jamie awoke to the smell of frying bacon. Blinking the sleep away, he stretched and groaned at how many kinks he felt. His neck was sore and he'd slept weird on his right hip and elbow. It took a long moment for him to remember exactly why he'd fallen asleep on his couch. And with whom. Sitting up, he did his best to stretch out his sore body and stood up.

Eddie stood at his oven, humming softly with damp hair and a baggy t-shirt hanging from her curvy frame. He rubbed the back of his neck, soaking in the moment. Would this be how it was from now on? Waking up with her, seeing her in his kitchen, wearing his old Harvard t-shirts? Smiling, Jamie padded barefoot across the kitchen to wrap his arms around her waist. He could do that now. The smile grew bigger.

"You're making me breakfast?" He murmured in her ear.

Eddie rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, Reagan. I'm making _me_ breakfast. I'm starving."

"Yeah, but in _my_ kitchen," he laughed, shaking his head before resting his chin on her shoulder. "Are you at least going to share?"

She shrugged, grinning over her shoulder. "I'll consider it. But only if you shower first."

He released her and stepped back, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. "Fine."

It was Monday, but they both had the day off, thanks to the events of Saturday morning. Which was good because it meant he got an entire day to hole up inside his apartment with the woman he loved. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, Jamie returned to the kitchen to see two places set at his table. Plates were piled high with scrambled eggs, bacon strips, and toast. Eddie was in the process of pouring them both coffee.

He caught her in his arms for a moment before she could sit down.

"Thank you," he said, smiling down at her as he locked his hands around her waist.

"No problem." Eddie returned the smile, turning to look at him over her shoulder for a moment before gently nudging him away. "But seriously, I'm starving so can we just eat now?"

"Sure," he said, laughing and sitting down beside her.

They kept sneaking looks at each other as they ate, unable to stop smiling. Neither one of them could really believe it. Was this really not a dream?

"So, what should we do today?" Eddie asked, looking over from her place at the sink.

Jamie shrugged and joined her by the sink, adding his own plate, fork, and coffee mug into the basin.

"We don't have to go in until tomorrow," he reminded her, the proximity of her making it hard to breath.

"True."

She stepped closer, if that was at all possible. Her teeth caught her bottom lip, pulling the corner inward as her eyes searched his.

"I was planning on a relaxing day at home," he said casually, lifting one shoulder into a shrug. Eddie's fingers curled up between the spaces of his, locking their hands together.

Her touch sparked a longing inside him. One he'd been fighting for months, years. She'd already agreed to marry him, so what was he waiting for? _Man up, Jamie_ , he told himself. He stepped forward, pinning her against the cabinets gently. His heart was beating so fast he thought he might have a heart attack. He remembered seeing her in that dress for Ricky's wedding last year, remembered how much he'd wanted to run his hand over her curves, to pull her against him and kiss her senseless.

Somehow, she was even more irresistible now, standing in his kitchen wearing his t-shirt and an old pair of gym shorts. She was his. No more Barry. No more watching, clench-jawed, as she left the precinct with some other man. His. And he was hers.

"Edit Marie Janko," he said, breathless, their eyes locked as he reached up to brush his fingertips over her cheek. "I am hopelessly, madly in love with you. And I'm sorry for being such an idiot about it."

Eddie's smile was blinding. She put her free hand over Jamie's, her finger tips pressing against the top of his hand. He inched closer, unable to keep the distance between their lips any longer.

"Apology accepted," she said, her breath whispering against his lips.

Jamie brushed his mouth against hers softly, savoring every second, every moment.

"And I love you, Jameson Charles Reagan," Eddie breathed out, her chest heaving against his with longing.

Jamie smiled as he pressed his mouth to hers. The warmth that spread through his chest had everything to do with the woman in his arms. Eddie braced herself against the cabinet, lifting herself onto the counter and wrapping her legs around his waist, trapping him against her. He lost himself in her, showing her with his mouth, his hands, how much he needed her. Erin had been right. That line in the sand had been so simple to erase. And damn did it feel good.

...

"You know, Reagan, for almost being killed three days ago, you certainly are in a good mood."

Jamie glanced at Welch, tying the shoes of his uniform with one foot on the bench. Ever since their truce last year they had become something close to friends. He shrugged and turned his focus back to his shoes.

"Woke up like this," he muttered. "Just glad I'm alive."

"Woke up next to Janko, more like." Welch smirked.

"What?"

" _C'mon_ , Reagan. Who're you two trying to fool? Even the brass knows by now. They're all pissed you two haven't messed up so they can prove it."

"You serious?" Jamie straightened up, the gears in his mind starting to turn.

"You really didn't know?" Welch scowled, buckling on his belt. "They've been monitoring you for years, waiting for one or both of you to cross the line. There's a pool going. I'm out fifty bucks because of you."

Jamie gaped at him, disbelief spreading through him. Of course he and Eddie had heard the rumors, but a house-wide betting pool? First Danny and Erin, and now this? He shook his head, letting out a faint laugh. This was getting out of hand.

"That's ridiculous," Jamie shook his head.

Welch narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him and pulled his jacket on.

"You're sure you two didn't get it on? I hear you were clinging to each other pretty tightly Saturday morning."

He'd always been good at poker and silently he thanked his grandfather for giving him so many opportunities to practice keeping a straight face.

"A friendly hug between partners after one of us nearly died is a longways off from sleeping together," Jamie noted dryly, rolling his eyes.

"Fair enough," Welch nodded thoughtfully. He walked to the door and then turned around to point at Jamie. "But I'm watching you, Reagan."

Jamie shook his head, laughing as Welch disappeared behind the door. He closed his locker and let out a small breath. He and Eddie were both on desk duty for a few days, so they'd have to be careful around the house. When the bosses had come to him and insisted he take a few days off from the beat, he wasn't about to protest after Saturday. Especially if it meant he got to stay beside Eddie.

When he stepped out of the locker room she was waiting for him. A smile lit up her face and it was all Jamie could do to not kiss her right then and there. They had both decided to keep their engagement between them and their families for now. At least until they worked out with his father a solution that was agreeable to everyone involved.

"Hey," she smiled.

"Hey, partner." He smirked as they shared a knowing look. "So, apparently there's an office pool."

"Like a bet?"

"Yeah."

"About what? Should we get in on it?"

Jamie chuckled. "It's about us. So probably not."

Eddie snorted. "Seriously?"

"Welch just told me," he nodded as they took their places at their desk assignments.

"Unbelievable," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"He's lost fifty bucks already."

"Serves him right."

"Do you think they'll ever figure it out?" Jamie wondered, doing his best to suppress the laughter undoubtedly sparkling in his eyes.

Eddie shrugged. "Let's not give them any ideas."

...

By the end of their shift, Eddie was about to burst from the anticipation of putting her hand in Jamie's once more. Nervous energy shot through her as she quickly changed back into her street clothes and re-touched her make up. Jamie was waiting for her outside the women's locker room, but she knew they couldn't risk anything until they were safely out of the building. _Stupid office pool_ , she thought, rolling her eyes. If he hadn't told her about it earlier than she might have risked the smallest brush of her hand against Jamie's. But as it was, she didn't dare in case someone caught the gesture. After all, they were surrounded by men and women trained to pick up on non-verbal social cues and body language.

She and Jamie had purposefully parked around the corner that morning. They couldn't be sure if it was fool proof, but she couldn't resist any longer once they had reached the side of her silvery Porsche. Jamie's hand reached for hers almost at the same time as she lifted her hand to find his. Their fingers met somewhere in the space between them, wrapping around each other as though it were a lifeline.

"Okay, that was harder than I thought it would be," she admitted with a breathless laugh.

"Yeah," Jamie agreed. "But I think it's partially because we were at the house all day. I don't know about you, but desk duty drives me crazy. Even if I am grateful to be alive."

"True. It _is_ harder to concentrate on a piece of paper with endless boxes to check and lines to fill in than a perp waving some kind of weapon in my face. _Especially_ when you're sitting across from me the whole time."

Eddie grinned up at him as she nudged his shoulder with hers. He smirked, glancing down at her for a moment. Jamie checked his watch and then sighed.

"I have plans with Danny to help Sean with a class project."

She fought against the disappointment. What was she expecting? She and Jamie were going to have to return to reality eventually. She knew that. But that didn't stop her from hoping that it could be avoided a little bit longer. Eddie knew what it was like when it came to plans with family, though.

"Okay."

"Come with me?"

Eddie lifted her eyes to meet Jamie's imploring fern-green gaze. She could see how earnest he was, how much he didn't want to leave her side, either. As much as she wanted to say yes, there were things that she needed to get done. Things she'd been putting off ever since Saturday morning, when her worst nightmare and most wished for dream had both been realized.

"No," she shook her head sadly. "You have a nice boy's night with Danny. I have errands I've been avoiding."

The look on his face was the closest thing she'd ever seen to a pout on a grown man's face. It was almost enough for her to cave. But a part of her knew that they still had responsibilities, as much as they both wanted to pretend they could stay in their little bubble, secluded together forever. She squeezed his hand and pushed away from her car.

"You should go," she nodded toward his Mustang, a few cars behind hers. "I think you've been late enough times these past few weeks. I finally got into the inner circle of the God-fearing, moral-high-ground-taking Reagans. Can't have you being disowned or something."

Jamie laughed, shaking his head. "You're ridiculous."

"It's true," she shrugged.

Still shaking his head, Jamie leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. Eddie's eyes slipped closed, her free hand bracing lightly against his chest as she returned the kiss eagerly. It was too soon when he pulled away, but they both knew better than to stand in the middle of the street making out. Especially not so close to the 1-2, where prying eyes might still be lurking.

"See you," she sighed.

Jamie's hand squeezed hers a moment before slipping away. He dug the keys out of his pocket and leaned down to pick up the duffle he'd dropped unceremoniously on the cement.

"I'll text you when I'm done, see what you're up to?"

Eddie smiled, pausing with a hand on her opened car door. "Deal."

"Okay," he smiled back. "See you."


	9. Eight: Keeping Secrets

**Hey all! Here's a little filler chapter until I can get some real inspiration. I've been wanting to write on this story for a while, but college kills my creativity and I've been ridiculously busy with school starting again. I hope you like it! Thank you, as always, for the support and love! If you have any suggestions or anything you might want to see in the future for this story let me know! I'm hoping Season 9 will have plenty of Jamko scenes for us to obsess over, but until it's released I'll just have to rely on my own imagination hahaha.**

* * *

"You Reagans ready to get your asses kicked?" Eddie asked, grinning as she sat down at Danny's dining room table.

"Oh-ho, them are fighin' words," Danny said, shaking his head as he handed out beers to everyone of age.

"Damn right, they are."

Sean and Jack exchanged amused glances as they finished handing out the money to everyone. Tonight's game of choice was Monopoly and Eddie was beyond excited. She used to love Monopoly as a child. She was the undefeated champion of her family. But after her father swindled too many people out of millions of dollars, she'd mostly lost her appetite for it. She had surprised even herself when she grinned excitedly at Jamie's announcement yesterday that she was invited to game night and that they would be playing Monopoly.

Two hours later, Eddie was pleased to find that her hiatus had not affected her game. She grinned in triumph as Nicky landed on one of her numerous properties and handed over the last of her paper money.

"This is bullshit!" Danny protested on behalf of his niece, who simply laughed at the pair's equally competitive nature. "You're cheating. I dunno how, but you're cheating!"

"I am not!"

"It's fine, Uncle Danny," Nicky said.

"No it ain't!"

Shaking her head, Nicky put her piece away and found her way outside, where Jack, Sean, and Jamie were shooting hoops.

"She get you too?"

Nicky looked over at Sean, nodding as he tossed the basketball at her.

"Sadly," she said, laughing.

"Hey—I warned you all," Jamie said. "Eddie takes her Monopoly seriously."

"I don't think Dad's going to give up. Wonder how long it'll take her to beat him," Jack said, glancing through the nearest window into the house.

As it turned out, it wasn't long at all before Danny's exasperated "dammit!" echoed through the house, followed by Eddie's laughter. A scowling Danny joined them outside, Eddie a few steps behind as she grinned like the cat that ate the canary.

"Ridiculous," Danny muttered, shaking his head.

It was a school night, so Sean and Jack were soon ushered upstairs by their father and Nicky said her goodbyes.

"One more round?" Eddie asked. She held up her empty beer bottle.

Danny begrudgingly agreed and as she disappeared into the house for more beer, he turned to his brother.

"I'm proud of you, kid."

Jamie scowled. "For what?"

"Eddie," Danny clarified. "For finally growing a pair and seizing the opportunity. When did you finally figure it out? Thanks for waiting, by the way. Cost me thirty bucks. What I'd give to wipe that smug grin off Erin's face…"

Danny sighed, shaking his head sadly. Laughing, Jamie tossed the basketball in his hands at his older brother.

"I can't believe you two made a bet."

"I can't believe Erin won." Danny eyed him a moment before taking his shot. "What changed?"

The ball soared with ease through the hoop. Jamie retrieved it, dribbling it slowly as he thought. He had known, deep down, that he'd fallen in love with her shortly after their first meeting. As much as he teased her about looking like a boy dressed up as a cop for Halloween, the moment he'd realized Eddie Janko was in fact a spunky blonde and not a "fat, sweaty, Hungarian guy" that was it for him. It took only days for Jamie to feel connected to his intrepid new partner in a way he knew he'd never felt with anyone else. He'd known from the start that what they shared would become something special. Maybe he hadn't bargained on falling totally, completely in love with her. But he'd known after those first few tours together that he would always crave her company.

"I think I just realized…after everything that's happened—Linda, Eddie getting shot, Sorrento almost blowing my brains out…. It's just not worth it to play it safe."

His brother nodded thoughtfully.

"It helped finding out there's no official rule, though, huh?"

Jamie laughed, "Yeah, I suppose it did."

The back door opened, revealing Eddie holding three opened beers in her hand. Jamie and his brother swapped knowing looks before accepting their drinks and dropping the subject. He took a long sip of his beer, watching as Eddie and Danny engaged in conversation. What little nerves Jamie'd had about introducing her as his fiancée were gone now. She seemed to fit into his family just as effortlessly as she'd fit into his heart. They already knew her, of course, but all of the family had embraced her new role in their lives with open arms. He was filled with a comforting warmth that seemed radiate out from his swollen heart. 

* * *

"I wish we could stay here forever," Eddie said with a soft sigh. She snuggled herself deeper into Jamie's side. Tomorrow was their first day back on the beat since the shooting and she was a little nervous. Would things be different now? Would her and Jamie's confessions of love affect their team dynamics?

"Me too," Jamie agreed, his eyes flickering from the TV to meet hers. "We do have a good amount of vacation time saved up—unless you used them without my knowledge?"

"We're partners, Jamie," she said with a laugh. "How the hell would I've done that?"

He simply shrugged, his focus returning to the hockey game playing on her television screen. But the idea of a vacation did sound nice. Especially one with Jamie. Suddenly her mind was filled with lazy beach days spent lounging by the pool in her bikini, eyes peeking over the top of her book as she secretly took in Jamie's well-toned body.

"Actually…"

"What?"

"Well I wasn't going to go, but I keep forgetting to call him, so if we wanted…"

"What are you talking about?" Jamie asked, the scowl on his brow easing away as his gaze turned to her. Eddie pressed her lips together, thinking hard. She did need to introduce him if they were going to get married…

"My cousin is getting married next month. And apparently it's to some disgustingly rich heiress who offered to put up the family of they couldn't afford to come."

"Where at?"

"Miami."

She thought he would grimace at the thought, considering how New York he was sometimes. But Jamie tilted his head, pursing his lips as he thought it over.

"It could be nice," he said. His lips curled up in a grin as he added, "especially if I get to see you in a bikini."

"Is that it all I am to you? A pretty thing to ogle?"

"Oh, definitely," he said, smirking. Eddie rolled her eyes. After a moment he became more serious. "The only thing is…if we go on vacation together, people are going to notice. They're gonna talk."

He was right. Was she ready for that? "They're going to talk regardless," she pointed out. "They already talk."

"Yeah, but so far we haven't given them anything. It's just rumors. If we go to Miami together… well, we might as well tell them we're engaged. Are you ready for that?"

Eddie thought about it for a long moment. "Jamie, I don't know what's going to happen—with the exam, with your dad's decision. Who knows if it will even matter. But as long as you're by my side, I know that I can face anything."

Jamie smiled as he readjusted, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"I feel the exact same way."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Let's do it."

"Really?" She asked breathlessly.

"Why not?" Jamie shrugged. "I haven't had a real vacation in years. And a wedding's as good an excuse as any to make a trip to Florida."

"Okay." Eddie grinned, feeling a thrill of excitement. Vacation with Jamie. She couldn't wait. 

* * *

Jamie let out a tired sigh and pulled off his jacket. It was the end of very long, emotional day. He and Eddie had gotten a call mere minutes before their tour was about to end. Teenagers O.D.'d at a party. Another handful of names to add to the list of drug-related deaths. Could they ever do anything to combat the drugs? It seemed like every day a new deadly concoction hit the streets. He passed a pair of fellow officers on his way to his locker and they became suspiciously quiet, but he was too tired to make much of it.

His movements were slow, his heart heavy, as he unclipped his gun belt and took it off. He couldn't seem to shake the call from his mind, even though he'd seem it time and again. The faces of the kids were like spectral images floating in his mind's eye. Were they really getting younger, or was it just that he was getting older?

"Is it true, Reagan?"

The voice drew his attention away from his muddled thoughts. Jamie focused his gaze on the partners across from him.

"What?"

They exchanged wary glances before one of them, apparently the braver one, spoke up. "Is it true being the PCs son means you can do whatever you want?"

He knew they were relatively new. One had only been on the job four years, and only recently transferred in to the 1-2, while the other was still a rookie. Jamie resisted the urge to sigh. He didn't want to deal with work drama right now. Not when three kids would never make it back home, safe and sound, to their parents. It was nights like these when he hated his job.

"I've never asked my father for any kind of favor, and even if I did he'd never give it to me," he said, throwing them a glance as he pulled on his jeans.

"So you're not banging your partner and getting away with it, then?" The rookie piped up, apparently growing braver after his response.

Jamie did his best not to wince. He couldn't deny that truthfully anymore. Although he wasn't technically "getting away with" anything, since there was no official rule against partner relationships, he knew there were a lot of technicalities involved in the situation. He and Eddie had met with his father, Gormley, and Garrett about the situation twice already and no one seemed to be willing to compromise. He wondered how long his father would humor them before he doled out a decision he felt was right and just.

Perhaps the upcoming results of the sergeant's exam would provide a solution. Until then, he and Eddie were still trying to keep their engagement underwraps, but with the approval of their vacation time for her cousin's wedding it was becoming more difficult. How could he sidestep without flat-out lying?

"Believe whatever you want, Randy." He knew it would only fuel the gossip, but honestly he was tired of hiding it, anyway. Jamie gave them a tight-lipped smile, grabbed his duffle bag, and hurried out the door of the men's locker room.

Eddie was waiting for him. She seemed to understand by his dark expression that he wasn't in the mood to talk. And anyway, she was feeling pretty shitty herself. Dead teenagers always took its toll on her, too. They had plans to meet Erin for dinner, but neither one of them spoke as they left the precinct, climbed into their separate cars and headed for home. Jamie didn't speak again until he joined her under the awning of the restaurant they were meeting his sister in nearly two hours later.

"Hey," he said warily, slipping his hand gratefully into hers. Eddie squeezed his hand and smiled. They walked in together, silently supporting each other.

"Well, you two sure are talkative today," Erin said with a dry laugh sometime later.

"Sorry," Eddie said, glancing over at him. "It's been a rough day."

Jamie launched into the harrowing tale of the call they had responded to.

"That's awful." Erin sighed, shaking her head. "I wish there was more we could do."

"That makes three of us."

"Hey all, sorry I'm late!"

Jamie watched as his former brother-in-law hurried toward them, placing a kiss on Erin's cheek before sitting down beside her. He wasn't sure how he felt about this new development in Erin's life. He also didn't know exactly where Jack stood with his sister, but he was certain they had crossed the line between platonic, divorced, acquaintances to something deeper. But he trusted that if Erin was getting back together with her ex-husband she at least had a reason. It was her life, anyway, and not really his place to comment on, especially when she didn't ask for advice.

The conversation turned lighter as Jack mentioned upcoming weekend plans, but Jamie was still lost in his thoughts. Was Erin's willingness to accept Jack's flaws a result of the tumultuous year they had all suffered? He had heard it said that God doesn't give a person more than they could handle, but the Reagan family seemed to have dealt with more than their fair share of loss over the years. Had she decided, much like him, that life was too short to not take a few risks? As far as he knew, he and Eddie were the only ones aware of their relationship. What would the rest of the family have to say about it?

Their food arrived, and Jamie's attention was pulled from his thoughts. He made an effort to pay attention to the conversation happening around him.

"So, you're going to Miami?"

Eddie nodded eagerly beside him. "Our requests were finally approved. Family weddings are always hectic, but I figure I need to introduce Jamie anyway, and a beach vacation sounds like heaven after the last few months."

"Were you planning on telling us about this?" Erin asked him, quirking an eyebrow.

"I wanted the approval to go through first," he said, shrugging. "People are already talking enough."

Across from him, Jack nodded. "I imagine it can't be easy, you two being together. Have you gone public about the engagement? Congratulations, by the way."

He turned to meet Eddie's blue eyes a long moment.

"Thank you," Eddie smiled.

"We haven't," he shook his head, "we were hoping to wait until Dad makes a decision. But with us going to Miami, the rumors are only going to get worse."

"Yeah," Eddie sighed. "We haven't decided yet what we're going to do once we get back. But it's bound to be a shit show."

Erin and Jack both nodded, sharing a knowing glance.

"What about you two?" Jamie asked after washing down his food with a drink of water.

"What about us?" His sister asked.

"Are you going to tell anyone else about…. Whatever this is?"

Jamie waved his fork in their direction for emphasis. His sister shrugged nonchalantly.

"I think we have to figure out whatever this is first," Jack said, his eyes on Erin as he spoke.

"That's fair," Eddie said. "I think it goes without saying, Jamie and I definitely understand how complicated things can get."

Jack laughed, and Erin offered a small smile, seemingly lost in thought. It was oddly nice to know that he wasn't the only one maintaining a clandestine relationship. Although their situations were different, it was strangely comforting to know Erin was also keeping a secret from people.


	10. Nine: Family Comes First

**Happy Sunday, all! I actually managed to write this last Monday, while I was vigorously procrastinating my assignments due on Tuesday! But I've been super busy all week, so I am only now getting a chance to post it. The premise of this chapter (especially a specific scene) was inspired by me reading the summary for 9x01 which says something about tension building between Jamie and Frank. I can't wait for the premier at the end of the month! I also think that Jamie and Eddie deserve a bit of a break after the craziness of season 8. Hope you enjoy. Thank you all so much for the support!**

* * *

Eddie's fingers rapped nervously against the thin wooden door which separated her room from Jamie's. Her family was traditional, insisting she and Jamie stay in separate hotel rooms, but apparently not traditional enough to care that they could basically share the same bed regardless. She thought back to the last wedding they had attended together. Hopefully this one wouldn't end with the destruction of the wedding cake and two black eyes.

"Hey," Jamie said as he pulled the door open from his side. She sucked in a breath at the sight of him: dressed to the nines in a fitted navy suit and looking handsome as ever.

"Hello," she said, a grin slipping lazily up her lips as she stepped forward.

"You look amazing," he murmured, his lips whispering against her cheek as he pulled her to his chest.

She chuckled, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. "You're not looking bad yourself, Mr. Reagan."

Jamie's only response was to find her lips and press a kiss to them gently. The heat of his palms pressed against her back as he held her tight. It still amazed her, sometimes, that he had asked her to marry him. That he wanted to spend forever beside her.

"You're going to ruin my lipstick," she sighed, not wanting him to pull away but knowing it was true. And besides, if they stayed there any longer they would probably be late.

He hesitated, tightening his hold for just a moment before stepping away.

"Okay," he said reluctantly, taking a step back.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes. But just a sec. I have something for you."

She frowned, checking the time once more as he strode over to his suitcase, opened in one corner of the room. Jamie stooped down, unzipped a pocket, and then quickly returned. His green eyes shone in excitement.

"What are you doing?" She asked with a laugh.

"Close your eyes."

"What? Why?"

"Close your eyes!"

Eddie sighed, shaking her head in exasperation. But she couldn't keep the over-sized smile from filling her face, either.

"Fine."

She closed her eyes.

It took all her will power not to peek through her lashes. Jamie lifted her left hand in both of his. She shifted her weight from one high-heeled foot to the other and wondered if her aunts would complain too much if they were late. He was sliding something onto her finger—what was? No. Her breath caught somewhere in her throat, her heart jumping into overdrive.

"Okay," Jamie said softly, his hand sliding into hers and squeezing gently. "Open your eyes."

"Jamie…" she breathed out, slowly opening her eyes and focusing on her still-raised left hand.

A sharp gasp escaped and suddenly her eyes filled with tears. Eddie had never obsessed over what her wedding might one day look like. But every little girl had dreamed about it at some point, even if just for a moment. This seemed better than she ever could have imagined, somehow. There was a simple, elegant ring snuggly encircled around the fourth finger of her left hand. A plain gold band securing a small princess-cut diamond. It was perfect.

"I couldn't very well accompany my fiancée to a wedding without giving her a ring first."

Eddie couldn't stop looking at it. Her voice was thick with emotion when she finally managed to speak. "It's beautiful."

Up until this point, their day-to-day relationship hadn't changed much and it was easy for her to forget that being engaged was sort of a big deal. But the comforting weight of the ring made it seem so much more formal, more surreal. They were engaged. To be married! How amazing was that?

"Thank you."

He smiled, the soft, special smile he saved just for her. Jamie pulled her closer for a long, sweet kiss.

"I love you," he murmured, his forehead resting on hers.

Eddie closed her eyes and took in the moment, smiling as she breathed in his scent, wrapped in his arms with his ring on her finger.

"And I love you," she said softly.

* * *

A small group was waiting for them when he and Eddie stepped out of the elevator. Jamie didn't know anyone, but he could see resemblances of Eddie in some of their faces. Letting out a shaking breath, Eddie gripped his hand tightly and led the way on teetering heels. He did his best to keep up, squeezing her hand in reassurance.

"Edit!"

She cringed beside him, presumably at her family member's use of her full name. The petite, plump woman rushed toward them, surprisingly nimble as she balanced precariously in a pair of pumps.

"There you are, sweetheart!" She pulled Eddie into a tight hug, prompting a soft " _umph_ " from her niece.

"Hi Aunt Leina," Eddie muttered, pulled away looking just a bit disgruntled. Jamie did his best to not let her see his amused grin.

"What are you wearing, dear?" The older woman mused, holding Eddie at arms-length and scanning her up and down. There was a slight scowl on her face.

"What's wrong with my dress?" Eddie asked, almost too quiet for anyone to hear. She smoothed her palms over the front of it nervously.

"Oh, well, it'll have to do." He aunt said, and then turned to him. "And who's this?"

"This is Jamie." Eddie said breathlessly. Was it because of him or the nerves? She smiled before adding, "my fiancé."

" _Fiancé?_ " Aunt Leina's blue eyes widened and a massive grin turned up her lips. "Oh, honey, that's _wonderful_! Christi! Christi, get over here, you'll never believe it!"

Eddie pressed her lips together and looked over at him. He raised his eyebrows, questioning. _You haven't even told them?_ Her shoulders lifted half-heartedly in shrug. _We've been busy_ , she seemed to say. Jamie didn't mind, though—family was complicated.

"What is it?" The second woman asked. "Oh, Edit, darling, how are you?"

"Christi, she's _engaged_ , can you believe it?"

" _Really_?" Christi exclaimed, beaming at Eddie. "Well now that's fantastic! And you must be the lucky man?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm Jamie."

"Jamie…. And that's short for?"

"Uh, Jameson."

"Jameson." Christi paused, squinting at him just a bit. "Irish?"

"Yes?" he said, glancing over at Eddie, who looked like she wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor.

The two older women exchanged glances. Then they both shrugged and Leina grinned at them, nudging Christi with an elbow.

"Well, Irish or no, our little Edit isn't going to end up married to her job after all. Isn't it wonderful?" She asked conspiratorially. They grinned at each other.

Without another word they turned and walked down the hall. Eddie groaned, gripping his lapels and turning to hide her face against his neck.

"That was worse than the time I accidently brought my first boyfriend home when family was visiting. Talk about embarrassing… I'm so sorry."

Laughing, Jamie slipped an arm around her waist and patted the top of her shoulder.

"Did you forget I have to deal with Danny on a daily basis? I can handle a few crazy aunts."

Eddie laughed, stepping away from her hideout against his chest. She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair. Her eyebrows knitted together.

"Should I go change? Do you think I'll have time?"

Jamie checked his watch. "You don't, but even if you did you shouldn't change. You're perfect the way you are, Eddie."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely," he said, slipping an arm around her waist and guiding her toward the outside dining area where the evening's reception was being held.

The wedding wasn't until tomorrow, but since many out of town guests had arrived the night before, the bride and groom had arranged a quiet dinner after the rehearsal for all the guests. He could feel the nerves rolling off of her as they got closer to the reception. A few feet away from the door, he paused and turned to face her.

"Hey, look at me." He hooked a finger under her chin and her brilliant blue eyes, highlighted tonight by a generous coat of eyeliner, stared back at him. "You are amazing, and talented, and the most badass woman I know. I watch you everyday walk the beat and face down some pretty scary shit. And every time you're fearless, Eddie. They're family—they're going to have a lot of loud opinions and irritating comments and maybe even some good advice. But at the end of the day all that matters is what you believe in your heart is right. No one else gets to live your life but you. Okay?"

She let out a deep breath, shaking her head a bit as she smiled. "How do you always know exactly what I need to hear?"

"Because I know you."

Jamie dropped his hand and she immediately slipped her own into it.

"I haven't been to a family event since my dad turned out to be a criminal."

"I'm right here," he said, squeezing her hand.

Another couple was approaching from the other end of the hall. They passed without a comment, apparently not relatives with unasked-for advice hanging on their lips. Eddie sucked in a deep breath as he waited patiently by her side.

"Okay," she said bravely, "let's go."

Jamie dutifully followed behind her, introducing himself to ecstatic family members with a soft smile. She kept trying to apologize, but he assured her that it wasn't necessary. He had endured many similar family gatherings over the years and it made him happy to be sharing the first of hopefully many such events. There was a beer in his hand, the love of his life by his side, and a decent playlist going softly in the background. He didn't have much to complain about.

"Eddie!"

"Caysen!"

Eddie squealed as her cousin rushed forward, enveloping her in a massive bear hug.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said. "With a plus one, even! And here I was thinking that you weren't going to come at all."

Shrugging, she laughed. By the grin on his face, Jamie guessed that her cousin had heard all about their engagement. As if to confirm this, Caysen turned to shake Jamie's hand.

"Congrats, man. It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise. We are here for your wedding, after all."

Caysen laughed. It was similar to the musical sound of Eddie's, only deeper. A pretty raven-haired woman appeared from the crowd, a slender glass of champagne in one hand.

"There you are, baby," she said, smiling at Caysen.

The arm he slid around her waist was so natural that it seemed like she was made to fit there. They smiled at each other for a moment and Jamie wondered if he and Eddie had the same love-sick look on their faces when they looked at each other.

"This is Victoria."

Grinning, Eddie stepped forward to hug the woman. Jamie simply offered her a hand to shake.

"Damn, girl, lemme see that rock!"

Caysen caught his cousin's hand in his. He and Victoria both admired the ring for a long moment.

"Man, this is crazy, right?" He asked, shaking his head. "We used to run around together in just our diapers. Now I'll be married tomorrow and you're engaged."

"Who knew, huh?" Eddie laughed. "We're pretty lucky, I'd say."

She squeezed Jamie's hand and he couldn't help but drink her in. She really did look amazing in that dress tonight. Her natural beauty made him weak in the knees on any given day, but whenever she dressed up she was intoxicating.

"Me, too," he and Victoria said together.

Everyone paused for a moment, and then they all laughed. Little moments like these were what he lived for. Jamie didn't know if he would be able to keep Eddie next to him on the beat, but she would always be watching his six, regardless of the situation. And for now, he was simply going to enjoy the warmth of her body against his as they made small talk and smiled and sipped their drinks.

* * *

"Jamie?" Eddie traced her finger along the ridges of his bare abdomen as they cuddled in her hotel bed.

"Hmmm?"

"What are we going to do about your dad?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, his fingers absently fiddling with her hair.

She wasn't sure why she'd thought of it, and she knew Jamie said he would figure it out, but the tension between him and his father was obvious every time they were in the same room.

"I know you two are fighting about us. About me and you staying partners."

A sigh ripped from Jamie's chest and his hand stilled for a moment.

"Look, he and I—all of us, really—we're stubborn as hell."

"You? Stubborn?" she scoffed.

"Shut up."

She chuckled, but only for a moment. The mood quickly turned serious once more. Eddie sighed and studied the edge of his strong jaw, lined with the first hints of dark stubble.

"I hate that I caused this rift between you. I wish I could fix it."

"You didn't cause anything," he promised. Jamie linked the fingers of their free hands together. "He's happy for us. As my father. But as the PC…"

"He's pissed."

"Not exactly."

"Then what? I'm so confused by this whole situation. And honestly he kind of terrifies me."

Jamie laughed. "He's not that scary—and his bark is much worse than his bite, I promise. It's just…well, my father's beliefs are rooted in a deep sense of morality. He's very concerned about doing the Right Thing in every situation. And with us staying partners—"

"Huh, sounds like another Reagan I know…"

Rolling his eyes, Jamie continued, "I think that he thinks he's obligated to separate us because of who he is. Because he's my father and you're my partner than we should be reassigned because he doesn't want to be accused of giving me a pass for being his son. But there isn't an official NYPD rule against it, so he also runs the risk of being accused of being too harsh because, once again, he's the PC and I'm his son. And, it's pretty widely acknowledged that we're great partners, so that adds another layer of complication."

"It is?"

"Don't sound so surprised," Jamie said, chuckling.

"Should I even ask how you know that?"

Jamie's shoulders lifted into a shrug. His finger tips whispered against her shoulder absently.

"I have connections that hear thing."

Eddie let out a breathless laugh. Would knowing how well they worked together effect Frank in his decision?

"And you think it's fine?" She asked, just to clarify. "That we should remain partners?"

"I think that the decision should be made based on our performance as partners and our ability to continue safely performing our duties."

"But he doesn't?"

"I don't know," Jamie said after a too-long pause. "I want him to make this decision as if I weren't his son. But that clearly isn't an option."

"But don't you think that if he did treat this as if you weren't, we wouldn't be given leniency to begin with? That one of us wouldn't have already been transferred?"

"Maybe…"

He nibbled at the edge of his bottom lip and she had the sudden urge to kiss him. But they needed to talk about this, so she resisted. At least for now.

"What did he say to you the other day? When you met him for drinks?"

Jamie took in a deep breath as he paused for a long moment.

"He asked me to put in a transfer—if not to a different house than at least for a new partner."

"And you said no?" She already knew the answer, but she needed to ask anyway.

"I said hell no."

Eddie nodded against his chest, reassured and worried at the same time. What if Frank was right? What if it was for the best and she and Jamie were just too afraid to let go? Hesitantly, she voiced her opinion.

"And…what if he's right? What if we're pushing this too far?"

Jamie laughed dryly. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"

His tone was light, but he shifted away from her just a bit. She could hear the hurt in his voice, despite his efforts to hide it.

"No. Of course not, Jamie, it's just…"

She pulled away, enough to see him scowling down at her, green eyes sparking with the challenge.

"It's just what?"

"I just think that family comes first and as much as I want to stay your partner for as long as possible, I don't want that partnership to compromise our relationships with other people— _especially_ family. At the end of the day, it's just a job. And from what I know of your father, and your family, I think he understands that."

"Okay," he said, easing back against her as the tension left his body. "I get that. And he's always taught us to stand on our own two feet, but I know from experience that when he thinks he's right about something he won't back down until he gets his way. It feels like he's making this personal, more about the fact I won't blindly follow his orders and not about what's really at stake here, which is, whether or not we can remain objective in the line of duty now that we're engaged."

"And you think we can do that? One hundred percent?"

"We have so far."

While that was technically true, Eddie wasn't sure it _would_ be the same. She desperately wanted it to be, but what if it wasn't? For now, though, it would have to be enough. That was a problem for another day, anyway. They were on vacation, enjoying a few quiet moments before the craziness of tomorrow's wedding began. So that's what she was going to do—push everything away and not worry about it until they returned to New York at the end of the week.


	11. Ten: Partners

**Hello all! Man it's been years, it feels like! Here's a new chapter. I'm not really that happy with it, but I know I desperately need to update, so I hope you all like it! I've been loving the developments in Jamie and Eddie's relationship in season 9 and I'm SOOO excited that Jamie accepted the promotion (like I knew he would!). Shout out to everyone who has stuck with this even though I haven't updated in months. College can really drain you. I've been ridiculously busy, as I applied to Graduate school on top of everything else, but Thanksgiving break is here so hopefully I can pump out a few more chapters for you lovely people! Thank you! Note: I swear I chose Eddie's aunt's name wayyyy before 9x7, and I'm too lazy to change it. Oh well haha.  
**

* * *

"And now, by the power vested in me by God and the state of Florida, I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Caysen Janko."

Applause echoed through the crowd and Jamie grinned as the newly married couple shared a brief kiss. His smile only widened as his eyes trailed to the woman beside him. That was their future: standing in front of family and friends, declaring their love for each other before God and their guests. He couldn't wait to see her on that day, beautiful as ever in a fancy white dress. Soon they were all pouring out of their seats, hugging the glowing couple at the end of the makeshift aisle.

"I'm glad we came," Eddie declared, swinging their arms between them as they walked to the hotel's courtyard, where the reception was being held.

Jamie nodded. "I think I'd nearly forgotten what a vacation feels like."

"The bar's open, want a drink?"

Jamie nodded, following a few steps behind Eddie. She leaned in against the bar and he effortlessly slipped an arm around her waist. A small part of him had the urge to check over his shoulder, but then he remembered they weren't even in New York. Eddie handed him a beer, his favorite brand, and then they were stepping away, finding a free corner to stand in. They were soon joined by an aunt, one Jamie remembered from yesterday but whose name he hadn't caught.

"And you're engaged now, dear?"

They always wanted to know this. Jamie wondered if that was all they knew about her. It was a shame, really.

"Very recently," Eddied said, taking a sip of her beer, "but yes."

"That's wonderful! Where did you meet?"

"At work," Jamie said simply. He gave her a tight-lipped smile and didn't explain that they were partners or bring up the complications that had ensued because of their engagement.

"Oh. You're a police officer?" She said it as though it brought a bitter taste to her mouth.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well…that's great." Her smile looked more like a grimace. Leaning forward, she said, in a voice she apparently thought was a whisper, "you're not pregnant, are you, dear?"

Jamie knew it shouldn't irk him. What were aunts for but to ask inappropriate questions, especially at family weddings? But his grip tightened around the neck of his bottle as he swallowed back his biting words. Eddie could fight her own battles, he reminded himself.

"No!"

The fifty-something year old woman narrowed her eyes just a moment, but then let the subject drop. Eddie shook her head as the older woman's attention was caught by an approaching cousin. Slipping an arm around her waist, he effortlessly guided her out from the corner and into an area filled with guests they didn't know.

"You know that thing I said before?" She asked. "About being glad we came? Yeah, I take that back."

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "It is nice to not have to pretend, though."

"True," she sighed, easing against his side. Eddie looked up to meet his eyes. "I almost don't want to go home."

Eddie found her way to the wedding party's table, where her cousin and his bride were smiling at each other. Jamie trailing behind her, his fingers linked in hers.

"There you are," Caysen said, leaning forward carefully to avoid getting cake on his suit. "I was starting to wonder if you'd snuck away already."

"We got corner by Uncle Arnie," Eddie rolled her eyes.

Caysen grimaced. "Ugh. I'm glad you made it out alive. So, uh, hey, do they always let you marry your partner in the NYPD?"

Her cousin was the only one they'd confided in about their partnership. Eddie let out a long, drawn out breath. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about their fight to stay partners.

"No," she said with a sigh, "in fact it's brought up a lot of issues with the bosses. But we're on vacation and its not a topic we should be talking about at your wedding."

"Okay, okay," Caysen laughed, holding up his arms in a gesture of surrender. "Can you at least tell me a few stories? I'm sure you guys have run into some weird shit up there."

She and Jamie exchanged looks. What were their best stories from walking the beat? Jamie launched in to his favorite story, featuring a drunk college streaking on a night patrol. By the end of it they were all laughing so hard they nearly peed their pants.

"I can't believe he did that!" Victoria said, gasping for breath and wiping at her eyes.

"I'll never see hot dogs the same way again," Jamie shook his head, trying to be somber but the grin on his face betrayed him.

Eddie let out a wary sigh and wondered where Jamie had got to. Aunt Leina was droning on and on, something about her own daughter's lack of romantic prospects and how her neighbor's sister's niece was marrying some big-shot lawyer in a few weeks. Where the hell was Jamie? She downed the last of her champagne as she drowned out her aunt's voice. Eddie was thinking about calling it quits and attempting to stumble her way up to her hotel room alone when he finally returned.

"Thank God," she breathed out as he sat beside her. His gaze flickered to Aunt Leina and she knew he understood.

Smiling, he stood back up and offered her his hand.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," he said, "but can I borrow my beautiful fiancée for a dance?"

Aunt Leina looked a little startled, but quickly recovered. Seeing their clasped hands brought a smile to her aunt's lips.

"Of course, dear. Enjoy yourselves."

" _Thank you_."

Jamie chuckled and led her to the dance floor.

"Is it always like this with them?"

"From what I remember, yes."

"What's their thing against cops?"

"Nothing, I don't think. Not specifically. It's more the fact that we don't have a great paycheck. And if my family cares about anything, it's ensuring their children marry up."

"Do they disapprove of you being a cop?"

Eddie shrugged. "I'm sure they all considered it a significant step down. But after everything with my dad, I think they at least understood."

"Well, if they aren't proud of you, and all that you've achieved, then I don't think they really know you." Jamie said

Smiling, she pressed her cheek against his, lost alone in her own world with Jamie. His expert feet guided them across the dancefloor and she followed him without question. Their dancing was a lot like their partnership, she thought. Because they trusted each other implicitly, there was no stumbling, no confusion. His fingertips brushed against her back at the top of her dress, his warm breath whispering against her neck. Eddie remembered their first dance little over a year ago and the conversation they'd had.

What would they be giving up when they returned? Would they be missing out by choosing their personal relationship over their professional one? Those were both questions that she could not answer. Only time would tell. The sun had set nearly an hour ago and the reception was slowly winding down. Her eyelids grew heavier as the busyness of the day washed over her. Whatever happened in New York, they would face it together.

"I've been thinking," Jamie said sometime later as they made their way slowly up to their hotel rooms.

"Uh-oh."

He nudged her arm with his elbow, rolling his eyes.

"About what you said last night, about my dad."

"Oh?" The too-big sleeves of Jamie's jacket protected her arms against the cool evening air. The jacket smelled like him, the last remnants of his woodsy cologne clinging to his lapels.

She tilted her head against his shoulder as they paused inside the elevator. Eddie blinked lazily from fatigue and the leftover buzz from all the alcohol.

"If my father refuses to back us, if it comes down to choosing our partnership on the job or our partnership in life—Eddie I'm always going to choose the latter. As much as I want to continue sharing my RMP with you, I want to continue sharing our lives more. I want you to know that."

Turning into him, she nestled her face against his neck and nodded. "I know, Jamie."

They were alone in the elevator and his arms tightened around her. Jamie pressed his lips to the top of her head.

"And whatever happens with me and my dad, we'll get over it. Maybe things will be tense for a while, but like you said—family comes first. And no matter how we feel we'll still be there for each other. Okay?"

The elevator dinged open. Jamie led the way down the hall to their rooms, half-dragging her sleepy body. He reached into the inside breast pocket of his jacket, his hand brushing against her ribs. A massive yawn ripped through her as he pushed open the door of his hotel room. Eddie stumbled out of her heels, her arms sliding effortlessly out of his jacket as Jamie plucked it from her shoulders. Chuckling to himself, he helped her slip out of her dress, into an over-sized t-shirt, and crawl under the covers.

"Wait," she murmured sleepily, grabbing his arm as he started to lean away. "Stay here."

"What will your aunts say?" he teased.

"Whatever they want. Stay. Please?"

Stripping off his stiff suit pants and slipping on some pajamas, Jamie laughed and then joined his fiancée under the blankets. Eddie snuggled against him, smiling in her half-asleep, slightly-drunk state. Jamie grinned, pressing a kiss to her temple. He couldn't wait to marry this woman.

Jamie stood at the entrance, looking up at the towering building and feeling as though he was about to commit the gravest sin of his life. He could hear Eddie's voice, coming from somewhere in front of him.

"Jamie? You coming?"

He lowered his head to look forward, catching sight of Eddie a few feet ahead, hand hovering over a handle to one of several sets of double glass doors. He sucked in a deep breath. Put one foot forward. Then another.

"Promise me we will never, ever, speak of this moment around my family."

Eddie rolled her eyes. "You're being so overdramatic. We come here more for family bonding time than the team, anyway."

"So does my family," Jamie protested, "we just know which team is the right one."

"You Reagans and your sports teams," Eddie laughed, shaking her head.

"I'm only doing this because I love you," he said gravely, taking in a deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready."

Eddie was still laughing at him as she reached for his hand, dragging him forward and into the stadium where the Philadelphia Flyers were set to play. He felt a bit nauseous. If his father ever disowned someone, it would be him after his family found out he stepped foot in a Flyers game. Letting out a deep breath, Jamie tucked his hands into his pockets and followed the Janko clan to their seats. He found himself actually starting to enjoy the game a bit, which scared him even more. As much as he hated keeping secrets from his family, this would be one thing that would go with him to the grave. After the game, they all said their goodbyes and suddenly he and Eddie were heading back to reality and NYC.

"This was nice," Eddie noted lazily as they crawled to almost a stop in the mid-afternoon traffic. "We need to take more vacations."

"Tell me about it," he sighed, reaching over to lace his fingers together with hers.

"Hey, you know they're releasing the Sergeant's Exam results this week?"

"Mmhmm," he replied, whispering his lips against the back of her hand.

"Are you nervous?"

"Not really," he shrugged, and Eddie made a face. Jamie laughed. "Okay, maybe a little. But not about the results, more about talking to my dad about them."

"That's fair," she sighed. "Do you think he'll be happy you took it anyway?"

"Probably. I knew it was what he wanted, which is why I didn't tell him to begin with. I needed this to be about me and what I wanted."

"I know. And no matter what happens, I'm proud of you for how you handled this."

"Thank you," he smiled, squeezing her hand. "I'm proud of you, too. Even if our lives change after this, and one or both of us takes the promotion, you'll always be my partner, Eddie. You're stuck with me for life."

"Good," she smiled. "I wouldn't want it any other way."


	12. Eleven: Growing Pains

**Wow. I can't believe it's almost been a year since I've posted! I'm so sorry to leave you all hanging like this, but honestly season 9 did not give me much Jamko inspiration, although it was pretty good. I've managed to piece this together over the last several months and finally finished it today. I hope it makes sense! The beginning is sort of a summary of events up until 9x7 and 9x10, where I continue a bit after those episodes. Sadly I probably won't be able to post again in a while... school is about to start and I will be working on ironing out a thesis topic, so I doubt I'll have much time for anything but inhaling books and articles. *sobs* Anyway, hope you enjoy it after such a long wait. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"I'm so proud of you, you know that?"

Jamie smiled shyly, trying not to show the nerves he felt at the thought of starting his new job as sergeant. _"Sergeant Reagan, this house is on fire. Hose it down, start from there. Understood?"_ The words from his commander echoed through his mind one more time. The brush of Eddie's knuckles against his cheek brought him out of his head and the tangled mess of thoughts.

"I know," he murmured gently, smiling as best as he could.

"You're going to do great, Sarge." She grinned, her lips pressed against his cheek and her fingers straightened the numbers on his collar.

"Thank you. See you after shift."

Eddie nodded, gnawing on her bottom lip as he walked out the front door.

He could do this. It would be fine.

...

The adjustment was harder than he thought. Having opposite shifts from Eddie was probably the hardest. It seemed like they hardly saw each other anymore. Jamie could take the trash talking behind his back, the late hour shifts, the hard work he was already putting in to turn the house around. But not seeing Eddie every day at work, not having her beside him… That was nearly unbearable.

When she transferred to the 2-9 things got a bit better. They saw each other much more, even if they weren't on the same shift. Of course there were growing pains, moments where she tiptoed the line and he had to do what was best as the boss, even when he hated making her upset. There were times when he pushed the boundaries of their agreement to stay strictly professional while they were in uniform and on duty. Like when Eddie insisted on that damn undercover stint and nearly got herself hurt, or worse. And it was different now—he was her boss, no longer her partner.

Overall, though, it wasn't too bad. There were still days when Jamie struggled to trust his instincts, when he thought he'd be better off going back to walking the beat, helping people on the streets. But after several months, things were slowly starting to calm down. The officers were beginning to realize that he was going to stick to his word—whether that was the threat of a rip or having their backs.

But even when things on the job settled down, the growing pains continued, in both their jobs and their private lives. When Eddie's mother had appeared, out of the blue, back from her self-imposed exile from the Caribbean, things got a little bit weird. But he had a feeling they would manage to get through, thanks to a bit of his stubbornness and Lena's apparent acceptance of him in her daughter's life.

That night, after they had all met for in his apartment, Eddie gave one final wave to her mother and then closed the door. Her cheeks were flushed, her limbs buzzing from the wine. She crossed to the couch and dropped down beside Jamie, snuggling herself much closer to his side now that they were alone.

"Was it weird having two moms growing up?" Jamie asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"Not really," she shrugged, "my birth mom—the one who died when I was thirteen—she was young when my dad met her. Barely out of college, just starting her career. It was a whirlwind romance sort of thing. It didn't take long for either of them to realize they weren't meant to be. But I was already born and my mom decided she wanted to focus on her career. Dad was more than happy to take care of me. Spoil me. He met Mom not long after and they got married when I was three. She's really the one who raised me. Mama, that's what I always called her, she was more of a visit and bring gifts when she thought about it type. We had fun together. I loved her, but Mom was the one who was there for me. When she wasn't too busy finding the best deal online."

Jamie chuckled. "She really does love you, you know."

Sighing, she nodded against his chest. "I know. And, I guess I can kind of see where she was coming from. But I still say she had no right to scare away every boy I brought home!"

"Maybe not, but for what it's worth I'm glad she did."

Smiling, she closed her eyes for just a moment. Suddenly Jamie was laughing, his chest rumbling.

"What?" she asked, "what is it?"

"What was that thing you said earlier? That your mom taught you to say?"

"What thing?"

"Something about dishes," he said, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

Eddie groaned. She took a long moment before forcing the words out.

"Forget the dishes on the shelf, be a tasty dish yourself?"

His laughter increased, his deep chuckle rippling through the air.

"How many boys did you score with that one?"

"Oh, shut up. I hate you."

She hit him with one of the accent pillows as he continued to laugh uncontrollably. Rolling her eyes, she tried to get up, only to be pulled back down by a pair of strong arms. Jamie's fingertips dug into her side, making her squirm. She repressed the laugh bubbling out of her chest, unwilling to give him the satisfaction. But it was no good. Before she could stop it the laughter was rippling out of her chest and she moved enough to tickle him back. Soon they both collapsed, exhausted, with smiles on their faces and cheeks warm from the wine.

...

A few days later, as Jamie unlocked the door and they both stepped inside, Eddie kept thinking about hearing that call over the radio. She'd known that shots were fired, but not whether anyone was hurt. There had been no call out that an officer was down, and that had consoled her, but it had still felt like she couldn't breathe until she saw him. Until she looked in his eyes and knew that he was still okay, that he hadn't been shot or hurt in anyway. She could tell Maya was suspicious, but her partner wasn't the only one.

"I honestly don't know what to think about Tuna. He seemed sincere tonight, but I can't be sure."

"Yeah," she said absently, taking off her jacket and boots.

"What are you thinking?"

Jamie wrapped his arms around her waist, and even with her mind distracted by her whirling thoughts she smiled.

"That I can't believe you gave me a rip."

"Eddie…we talked about this, I—"

"I know," she sighed, and she did. As much as she hated it, she understood. Jamie had always been so straight-laced. She didn't expect anything less now he was a sergeant. "And I'm also thinking that maybe Tuna _is_ being genuine."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…I think it might be Maya. She asked me how long we'd been sleeping together."

" _What_? What did you say?"

"I demanded an apology. The way she said it…" Eddie shook her head, biting the bottom of her lip. "It felt like she was implying I was sleeping my way to the top, or something. Like I only wanted to use you to get to One-P-P. And I hated it, and…well, if she thinks so highly of me, then I have no doubt she thinks worse about you."

Jamie shook his head, thoughts racing for a moment. "I thought you two were getting along better? You seemed friendly at the bar earlier."

"I thought so too. And we are, mostly… She's still a bit of a wildcard, but… I don't know, as much as I want to trust her there's something stopping me. I know she's suspicious about us, but after the way she accused me of using you—I don't want to tell her anything."

"Good thing you don't have to," Jamie said with a grin. "I'll keep an eye on both of them. For now we'll see if the pranks stop. If not, well…I'll figure it out then."

"I know you will."

Eddie buried her hands in his soft hair, still not quite recovered from the dread she had felt this morning. Being apart from him at work was hard some days. Jamie wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest.

"I promise I'm fine," he said softly, apparently reading her mind.

"Thank God," she said, smiling and squeezing him tighter than ever.

...

Working separate shifts was harder than Eddie had imagined. And adjusting to life at a new precinct, with Jamie as her boss rather than her partner, was…well, interesting to say the least. Sighing, she gave the dog she was visiting at the shelter another rigorous pet and then stood up. If she didn't hurry, she would be late for her lunch date. A thrill of excitement shot through her. She hadn't seen Ariel since she'd graduated from the police academy and it wasn't exactly easy to make friends on a cop's schedule.

She couldn't help but squeal when she joined Ariel at her table forty minutes later.

"Eddie!"

Hugging the taller woman tightly, Eddie couldn't contain the laughter bubbling up inside her.

"How are you?" she demanded once they finally had released each other, settling into their seats.

Ariel launched into the story of her life the past five years, Eddie responding in all the right places with gasps of surprise and squeals of excitement. She was beyond happy to have this time with an old friend. As much as she loved Jamie and his family, it was nice to have someone in her life that she could rant to who wasn't a Reagan.

"And what about you?" Ariel asked, eyes sparkling mischievously. "A little birdie told me you're engaged."

She didn't have to ask how Ariel could have possibly known. Eddie knew her mother still occasionally talked to Ariel's mother. And of course Lena would have been more than thrilled to share the news of her daughter's engagement with anyone and everyone she knew, despite her and Jamie's reluctance to publicly announce anything yet. All she could do was grin and nod excitedly.

"Yeah. His name's Jamie."

Before she could stop herself she launched into the story of how her partner had become her best friend and then much, much more. Ariel, much like she had, simply let her talk and 'oohed' and 'ahhhed' at all the right moments. Eddie had forgotten how nice it was to have a female friend who understood you so perfectly.

"Well, he sounds like quite a guy. I hope I get to meet him some day."

Eddie couldn't agree more as she smiled, her heart soaring and cheeks warm from her long story about her and Jamie's relationship. As they finished up their meal nearly two hours later, Eddie realized that as much as she was glad to have Ariel stop by to catch up and chat, she couldn't wait to get home to her boy scout.


End file.
